We open with Moana, lying in a cell, she slowly wakes up, and as she pulls herself up from the group she finds herself looking right into the face of Wilhelm.
Moana: Gah! Who are you?
Wilhelm: My name is unimportant, however your name is, Moana.
Moana: And why is my name important?
Wilhelm: Because believe it or not, I’ve been watching you your whole life, and I am the reason you are in the position you are right now.
Moana: What does that mean?
Wilhelm: I manipulated the events that led to the destruction of Motinui, and then I helped ensure your portal away from there went to the Enchanted Forest, and then my lieutenant took you from the cell I knew you’d eventually end up in.
Moana: You Bastard!
Wilhelm: I may be one, but my curse will actually work, so I think it balances out.
With Wilhelm’s grimm smile Moana drops to the ground, despondent. We see the logo, darker than usual and with a prison in the center. From here we get to a happier scene, the Jolly Roger parking itself on a beach as Rogers, Sheriff Henry, Javert, Smee and Esmeralda get off of it. They walk for a bit when they come up to three dragons.
Smee: Um, captain?
Smee: Sure sheriff, you didn’t tell me there’d be dragons.
Rogers: It’ll be fine, they’re friends, well they’re friends of my friends. HEY MALEFICENT! REGINA SENT US!
One dragon gets up from sleep, stares at the group, and morphs into a human form, revealing Maleficent.
Maleficent: Hello Hook, where’s Emma?
Rogers: Wrong one, I’m Rogers, the copy.
Maleficent: Ah, I don’t think I’ve met you before.
Rogers: Neither do I, but I’m not here to find a new friend, I’m here on business, Regina told me that you have some magic bag?
Mal clearly stiffens up, worried.
Maleficent: Who told her that? That is supposed to be a state secret of fairy-kind.
Rogers: Well, apparently the Blue Fairy has disappeared for long enough that those state secrets have passed directly into the hands of Tinker Bell, who realized that our problems can be easily solved by them.
Maleficent: Okay, well it's going to take awhile to get the bag from its hiding place.
Maleficent: Well, I hid it very well… inside me.
Rogers: I’m sorry, what?
With Rogers very confused we move back to the past, Moana is sitting on the ground, trying to turn into water, and failing.
Moana: Okay, there’s something blocking my magic, and since I don’t know where this place is, the rest of my water can’t find me.
Moana jumps and turns to see the dude who said it in a neighboring cell.
Moana: Who are you?
Man: My name is Jason, I’m your co-inmate here, I’ve been here for years now.
Moana: How’d you get here Jason? You look like a normal dude, I’m at least a witch.
Jason: The man holding us created a wolf, the wolf attacked my family and I tried to fight it. When I couldn’t win he offered me a deal, I would stay in the prison and my family would be safe from the wolf.
Moana: Why would he want to keep you imprisoned, what would you do while free?
Jason: Honestly, I have no clue. This dude is playing the long game from what I can tell, that cell you’re sitting in has had quite a few occupants in my time here, and I don’t think many of them were killed.
Moana: That’s great, so a man we don’t know is keeping us imprisoned for an unknown time for unknown reasons.
Jason: Well that's not quite true, we do know he wants to cast a curse.
Moana: Unfortunately there are a lot of curses, so that doesn’t narrow it down much.
Jason: Yeah, but it's more information than I’ve ever got.
We hear Rumpel’s voice yelling.
Rumpelstiltskin: Hey! New Kid! I’ve got some torture devices with your name on them!
The door to her cell opens.
Jason: I’d suggest you go through there, it hurts a lot more if you try to resist.
Moana: Fine. But I will reveal nothing.
Jason: That’s what I thought too, it didn’t work out.
With that fun comment we return to the present, and find Maleficent in dragon form, with her mouth wide open, and Lily climbing in, tied to a very long rope held by Zorro.
Rogers: This can’t be safe.
Zorro: It probably isn’t, but I challenge you to come up with a better solution.
Rogers: Maybe one that has little risk to the safety of your daughter?
Zorro: The only other option is you cut Mal up.
Sheriff Henry: Wait, that might work, didn’t she die once?
Zorro: That’s a one time thing, her soul was tied to the Storybrooke Underground, it isn’t anymore.
Rogers: Well then, let's hope that she finds it soon, because…
Suddenly Moana appears, followed one by one by the rest of her coven, now numbering five.
Rogers: Because that. Lily! Get out, someone’s attacking, we’ll need you.
Our non-dragon heroes ready their swords and magic, ready to fight. Before we see what happens there is a return to the past, where we see Moana sitting in a chair, next to Rumpel, ready to torture her.
Rumpelstiltskin: So, we don’t actually need any information from you, the boss has been watching you since you restored Te Fiti, we just want to examine your powers a little bit.
He summons a bunch of buckets of water and dumps it all on her, it does nothing besides get her wet.
Rumpelstiltskin: Hmmm, does not absorb random bits of water.
He poofs in a knife and stabs her, then tries to splash water on it, doing nothing, so he heals her up.
Rumpelstiltskin: Well that's all, you can head back.
Moana: Is that really all you wanted? Was that even necessary?
Rumpelstiltskin: Not really, it was fun though. Now scurry along, we might actually torture you tomorrow.
Confused, she gets up and leaves the room and we return to the present, seeing The Snows, David, James, the Bandit, Robin and Grumpy standing around the Huntsman, who is waking up.
Huntsman: I see the whole team came to interrogate me, how nice. But I hope you know I am physically unable to say anything.
Robin: What do you mean? Why?
Huntsman: The queen has my heart, I have just about no control of what's going on.
Grumpy: So you had no choice but to kill my family?
Huntsman: I don’t think I had a choice, I was ordered to try to stop anyone from helping you four to the best of my ability, and that was the best of my ability, since I did it I’ve tried to figure out if something about me caused it, but if I would never work for her, or kill them if I had a choice.
David: Okay, well if you can’t get any good information, at least we have the Queen’s top lieutenant?
Huntsman: Oh no, she’s holding my hear-
Queen Snow: (through Huntsman) Ha! Do you really think this is my top lieutenant? I have so many more, and so many more powerful ones, this one is useful enough to keep alive, but no more than that. Fall asleep.
The Huntsman collapses into sleep, leaving his interrogators unsure of what to do. We check in with our heroes fighting the coven, Maleficent the dragon fights the Black Queen, Leota is trying to zap Zorro the dragon, Esmeralda and Moana face off, Yzma attempts to zap Lily the dragon and all the magicless people fighting Mombi. We zoom into the people lacking magic. Rogers: Okay, we need to find a way to get Maleficent out of here. Any clue?
Sheriff Henry: Not really, but I suggest that we don’t figure it out right in front of the enemy.
Mombi: No, no, please keep going, explain your plan exactly.
Sheriff Henry: How about you just figure it out by yourself, and when you do just do it.
Rogers: Yeah, yeah, sure.
The fight continues, and we return to the Tilly and Margot sitting in their cell, with Margots arms wrapped around Tilly.
Tilly: How long do you think we’ll be here?
Margot: I dunno, but I have a feeling its coming soon, they’ll realize we’ve been gone, and we’ll get saved.
Tilly: I don’t know, its been awhile, we might want to make a plan, something that can get us out?
Margot: Yeah, but, I don’t know how to do this, you lost your magic years ago, and the Queen took our weapons.
Tilly: We’ll find a way, we can make a makeshift bow and arrow if we really need to.
Margot: Yeah, but lets wait a bit, just in case.
As Tilly moves farther in to Margot’s arms we move over to Blue and Ivy, both lying on the floor of the cell, panting.
Blue: That was a lot quicker than I expected.
Ivy: Oh screw you!
Blue: What? I was just saying it was faster than I thought it would-
Ivy: I know exactly what that meant, and it sure as hell wasn’t a comment on time.
Blue: Fine, okay, whatever. I think we need a plan to get out of here and not just do what we’ve been doing.
Ivy: Well the totality of my current abilities are basic hunting and being able to throw a good punch, you can still do a bit of magic at least, so you plan it all, and I’ll sleep while you do it.
Ivy closes her eyes and starts fake snoring.
Blue: Oh come on! Fine, I’ll figure it out myself.
The two lie on the ground, Blue thinking, and Ivy sleeping, and we return to one more pair of prisoners plotting an escape, Moana and Jason.
Moana: We need to figure out what to do, we should break out.
Jason: I’ve tried, and so have my cell mates, this is pointless, we should just stay put.
Moana: No no no, I will find a way to save us, and we will make it out of here, I can return to my sisters, you can find your family, trust me.
Jason: You can hope, but that’s far too much work, I’d prefer the safe option.
Moana continues to be thinking of a plan while Jason sits bored. We return to the battle, this time looking at Esmeralda and Moana.
Moana: You should join me, my coven still has empty spots.
Esmeralda: You are a murderer, I saw you do it, I would never work with you.
Moana: What would you do if I said I changed?
Esmeralda: You’re trying to form a coven of witches to cast a curse, that's not a good thing.
Moana: You got me, luckily I have enough forces I’ll be able to defeat you, and then I will recruit the final members of my coven, and everything I ever dreamed of will come true.
Esmeralda: No you won’t, because we will stop you.
Moana: Please, Mombi will beat those fools without magic, and then she’ll be free to take the rest of you out, and I will win.
Esmeralda: Are you sure of that?
We notice that Rogers has snuck up on the Black Queen, and he attacks her, distracting her from Maleficent who knocks her out cold and far away from the fight, and he then whispers something to her ear, hops on her, and they fly out.
Moana: That just helped me, you lost more people.
Yzma: NO! She has the bag INSIDE of her!
Yzma tries to create something to go after them but Lily blocks her.
Moana: Ok, that's not very good. Luckily my ice is awhile away, we can fight these idiots off before they get there, can someone try to wake up Blackie?
We notice that the Black Queen has vanished.
Moana: Oh damnit.
Esmeralda: I think that round was a win for us.
With the strength of her confidence she manages to push Moana back a little, now having the upper hand. We move out of this fight, and find ourselves in Wilhelm and Rumpel’s mansion, with Rumpel (holding the DO daggers) and the Black Queen.
Black Queen What did you do? How can you control me?
Rumpel: Its sort of complicated, but that thing I used to give you magic? It also allows you to be controlled by anyone with this dagger, and I felt like being nice enough to have free will for a bit, but now we need you to do something for us, and you being knocked out cold is a great time for it. (He points her dagger at her) Oh Dark One, I command thee, go to the Grimm Realm, find Queen Snow White and her friend the Hag, recruit them to the coven as spies working under me, and then at nightfall go to Storybrooke jail, and free the coven, not telling them you are spies, and then do the job of a spy.
Black Queen: Oh yes, my master.
The Black Queen poofs away, and Rumpel sits down on the couch to relax. We move from here to the past, with a much dirtier Moana and a clearly aged Jason sitting in their cells, the former banging her head against a wall.
Jason: You ready to give up?
Moana You’ve asked me this every few days for the past, I don’t know how long.
Jason: Entire time you’ve been here, that's what you’re thinking of.
Moana: Yes, that, and no, I will give up when either I’m dead or I’m free.
Jason: You’ll give up, eventually, I promise.
Moana: You keep saying that too.
Wilhelm’s Voice: Yes, by my count he’s said that 500 times to you.
Moana: Oh, you’re here.
Wilhelm walks into sight
Wilhelm: I’m here because I’m ready to end your continuous search for a way out.
Moana: What do you mean?
Wilhelm: I come with an offer, I will let you go, if you kill Jason.
With that shock we leave this scene and find ourselves in Oz, with Emma, Zelena, Jellia, Jinjur, Ruby, Dorothy, Mulan, and Omby Amby.
Emma: Okay you two, you’ve finally left Jinjur’s room, what have you figured out what to do?
Jinjur: We need to go find Ozma and face her head on.
Zelena: With what army? Ozma has destroyed almost all of our resources!
Jellia Jamb: Yes, but we have enough for the people in this room to attack her, and we can teleport in and surprise her.
Dorothy: Wait really? That easy?
Jinjur: Yes, we’d probably want to get ready, and attack tomorrow morning, we’ll have the best chance of getting her completely asleep.
Ruby: You’re right! That would work, perfectly.
Jellia Jamb: We know, that’s why we’re telling you.
Dorothy: Okay, then um… meeting adjourned, let's get ready to attack tomorrow morning I guess?
Jinjur: Yeah, it's time for war.
We move from here to Regina, sitting at Granny’s eating some food with Killian, Hope and Neal.
Killian: So, do you have any news from anyone about that bag thing?
Regina: No I don’t, maybe Mal hid it really well.
Killian: Yeah, but maybe they ran into trouble, what if Moana and her friends found them?
Regina: I thought of that, but I’d like to finish my dinner before thinking hard about it. GRANNY! CAN I HAVE ANOTHER BURGER!
Granny pokes her head out of the kitchen to talk to Regina.
Granny: You know you really should go back to work.
Regina: I’ll pay you double for it.
Granny: Okay! Chop chop Floyd! Get the queen a burger!
Suddenly we hear a loud noise as something large lands right outside, everyone (including Leroy who was also there) runs out to see what’s going on, and we see that Maleficent has landed outside, and Rogers jumps off her back.
Rogers: Hey Regina, we got attacked, and it turned out that getting a bag out of a dragon stomach can’t be down while being attacked, any ideas for that?
Regina: Guess someone’s gonna have to fish it out of her, any volunteers?
Rogers: I volunteer someone who hasn’t been doing all the work this past week.
Regina: You heard your double Hook, time to crawl into the stomach of a dragon.
Killian frowns at her and we return to the past, with Moana andJason staring at Wilhelm, shocked.
Wilhelm: It’s pretty simple, you rip his heart out and crush it, and I’ll let you go off, work on casting your curse with your sisters.
Jason: You aren’t seriously considering this, right?
Moana ignores him and looks towards Wilhelm.
Moana: Can I ask you something?
Wilhelm: What do you wish to learn?
Moana: What is your name, tell me that.
Wilhelm: My name is Wilhelm.
Moana: Okay. (She turns her head to Jason) I promise that my curse will give your family a good life.
As Jason realizes what's about to happen she rips out his heart and crushes it, and we return to Storybrooke as Regina, Rogers, Killian, Granny, Leroy and Mal surround the statue of Moana with a very slimy bag of pixie dust.
Killian: This better work.
Regina: I promise it will, Tink told me exactly how powerful these bits of pixie dust are, if we’re not careful we could probably accidentally destroy the entire United Realms and still have a bit left over.
Granny: Well then we’d better do it quickly, or else everything will get screwed up.
Regina: Yes, I know.
She pulls out two pieces of pixie dust, and drops them on the ice statue, which glows bright as they disappear.
Rogers: Is that a sign that it worked?
Regina: No clue, we’ll have to wait for our friends to get back.
As they wait we return to their friends battling, every clearly tired out, Smee even about to collapse, it still at a standstill, when suddenly Moana turns to water which disappears into the sky, leaving Esmeralda free, she blasts Mombi, who collapses, then she zaps out Leota, and then every quickly dispatches Yzma. They regroup and the dragons return to human form.
Javert: I guess Rogers won?
Lily: Yeah, lets pack these up and your boat, I’m too tired to even transform.
Smee: Okay, yeah, you heard her, pick em up.
They all begin to drag their enemies to the boat, although they are clearly weakened. With this we return to Wilhelm and Rumpel standing around Jason’s body.
Rumpelstiltskin: Are you surprised she chose to kill him?
Wilhelm: Not at all, I’ve spent decades turning her into the sort of person who would do that, I thought she’d take a bit longer, but other than that, it’s what I expected.
Rumpelstiltskin: Doesn’t this mean the deal is off?
Wilhelm: Yes, just in time too, make sure his daughter meets a certain young princess.
Rumpelstiltskin: Of course.
He morphs into a wolf, and disappears in a puff of smoke. We move from here to Storybrooke’s jail, with the coven members and Moana’s frozen statue sitting around in anti-magic cuffs.
Leota: Okay, how are we going to get out of here?
Mombi: Hell if I know! Yzma’s dumb plan got us in this situation!
Yzma: Hey, my plan almost succeeded, and even if we didn’t try we’d still have Moana completely frozen into a statue, now we can keep an eye on her.
Suddenly the Black Queen appears right outside of the cell.
Black Queen: And now I can break you out all at once.
Yzma: See! I knew my plan was good!
Black Queen: Yeah, and now we have those artifacts you were after.
Mombi: Um, I don’t see them?
Queen Snow, with the bag, and the Hag, with the pod, appear by her side. Black Queen cutes open the cell to let them out, and opens a portal.
Black Queen: It's time to find our final member, let's go.
The six (with Moana and the artifacts in tow), walk through the portal, and onto find whoever is Coven member #8. With this we find ourselves somewhere seemingly less important, the Mills-Vidrio Household, where Jacinda, Lucy and Henry are packing up a game of Monopoly, with Lucy looking very happy.
Henry: I still think you cheated, why did we let you be the banker?
Lucy: I didn’t and you know it, I won fair and square, you’re just bitter.
Jacinda: Don’t you think if she cheated it wouldn’t have been so hard to beat me?
Henry: Hey, maybe you girls were conspiring against.
Lucy: Oh old man, go back to your study and do some writing, do your fancy author job.
Henry: Fine, g’night.
Henry kisses his wife and daughter goodnight, and retires to his study, As he picks up his pen and tries to record something, he can’t write anything. Suddenly we hear Wilhelm’s voice behind him.
Wilhelm: Hello Henry Mills.
Henry jumps up and turns around, pointing his pen at Wilhelm.
Henry: GAH! Who the hell are you?
Wilhelm: My name is Wilhelm Grimm, and I am the first author.
End of episode.