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(#AlanJacksonKilledCountry)
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{{Icons|MProtect|OUAT|Character|Male|Camelot|EF|LWM|Dead|S4|S5}}
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''ATTENTION: All of the material below is meant to be taken extremely seriously. I created all of these accounts to spread the message of how much of a disgrace Alan Jackson is to REAL country music and its rich tradition. I don’t regret doing any of this, and if I could, I’d do it again. For those of you who want more info on my mission plan they should contact me on Twitter at @JacobGa31668544. I have been working very hard the past few months plotting the battles that lie ahead and to eliminate all the obstacles in my way. There's not enough bourbon in Kentucky to make Alan Jackson’s “music” not suck. ''
{{Character
 
|infobox = C
 
|name = Merlin
 
|image = 508UseThePrometheanFlame.png
 
|gender = Male
 
|status = Deceased
 
|home = His [[Camelot Castle|tower]] (''formerly'')
 
|species = Human<br>Tree ''(formerly)''
 
|occupation=Healer ''(formerly)''<br>Foot soldier ''(formerly)''
 
|haircolor = Black
 
|eyecolor = Brown
 
|portrayedby = [[Elliot Knight]]<br>Jonathan Adams ''(voice; "[[Lily (Episode)|Lily]]")''
 
|firstmention = [[Lost Girl]]
 
|firstappearance = [[Lily (Episode)|Lily]]
 
|latestappearance = [[Broken Heart]]
 
|latestmention = [[Hyperion Heights]]
 
}}{{Quote|Not all wizards have long, white beards.|Merlin to [[Nimue (Character)|Nimue]]|Nimue (Episode)}}
 
'''Merlin''', better known as the Sorcerer and briefly known as the '''Usher''', is a character on [[ABC]]'s ''[[Once Upon a Time]]''. He débuts in the [[Lily (Episode)|nineteenth episode]] of the [[Season Four|fourth season]]. He is voiced by co-star Jonathan Adams in Season Four, and is portrayed by guest star [[Elliot Knight]] in [[Season Five]].
 
   
Merlin is based on the character of the same name from the [[Arthurian Legend]] and the [[Disney]] film ''[[The Sword in the Stone]]'', and on the Sorcerer from the poem "[[The Sorcerer's Apprentice]]".
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If you believe in the real underground of real country music, then now is the time to do something about it. Contrary to what you may believe, the “music” “artist” you call Alan Jackson is anything but country music. What he is is a pop blend of rap, trap, R&B, EDM, and 80’s hair metal. Beyond a possible doubt, Alan Jackson has been a disgrace to country music for his entire career. Now is the time to do something about it. The time is now to overthrow the current situations and declare war on the record companies, radio stations, publications, clubs, and anyone who promotes the whole so called "scene" as it now stands. We need to destroy it all and take it back from the corporate phonies and conformist.
   
==History==
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In 1954, an entrepreneur named Ray Kroc took a hamburger stand in Phoenix and transformed it into one of the most commercially successful enterprises in human history: McDonald’s. True, the business mass-produces garbage and killed a lot of people, but Kroc got disgustingly rich and famous.
{{Before First Curse|
 
At some point in his life, Merlin becomes a foot soldier in an unknown army. However, he flees into the nearby desert with Adda, a fellow soldier. Exhausted and thirsty, Merlin and his companion come across a [[Holy Grail]] filled with water. His friend, attempting to drink from it, is turned into ash. With only two options, succumbing to death by thirst or by the grail's power, Merlin drops to his knees and asks for permission from the gods to drink from the cup. He then takes a sip from the grail, finding himself still alive, as he gains magic and immortality. With his new found magic, he accidentally turns the desert into a grasslands. {{Ep2|Nimue (Episode)|Nimue}}
 
   
Five hundred years later, an immortal Merlin has gained a reputation as a healer and takes a young boy as his [[apprentice]], gifting him a [[Apprentice's Wand|wand]]. At some point during or after this, Merlin creates a box, which contains a [[Sorcerer's Hat|hat]] that can absorb and accumulate magic. As a safeguard, the hat is also protected by an enchantment so that only someone who has not succumbed to the darkness in their heart can open it. {{S|("[[The Apprentice (Episode)|The Apprentice]]", "[[Operation Mongoose Part 2]]", "[[Nimue (Episode)|Nimue]]")}}
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In 1990, a singer-songwriter named Alan Eugene Jackson recorded “Here In The Real World, beginning a 25-year-long career recording and performing music. True, most songs contained a maximum of four measly chords and revolved around a stale retinue of still-recycled themes, including sexism, religion, and—you guessed it—alcoholism, but Jackson got disgustingly rich and famous.
   
Often, when people come to him seeking help, Merlin already knows what they desire, in part because of his ability to [[Foresight|see the future]]. However, when he meets [[Nimue (Character)|Nimue]], he is unable to discern her reason for needing his help. She explains having fled her village from [[Vortigan]], who killed everyone there. Nimue wants revenge by planting the seeds of the middlemist flowers, which grew in her village. After she scatters the seeds, Nimue makes plans to return in spring to see if the flowers have taken root, but Merlin uses magic to make the flowers bloom instantly. The two mutually fall in love, and, after they have been together for a time, Merlin considers marrying her, but he worries his immortality will be a problem because she will eventually age and die while he will remain young forever. After revealing this to her, he details his plan to use the [[Flame of Prometheus|first spark of mankind's original fire]] to mold the Holy Grail into a [[Excalibur|sword]] as way to get rid of his magic and immortality. With Nimue carrying the grail in a bag, she and Merlin head to the [[Vault of the Dark One|site]] of the flame, but, on the way there, they stop by her ruined village. There, without Merlin's notice, she drinks from the grail, hoping to be immortal so she will never have to part from him. She once again begs him to destroy Vortigan, but he declines because using magic to kill someone is giving into darkness. Once Merlin creates the sword, she alerts him to Vortigan's presence. Vortigan, attempting to make Merlin forfeit the sword to him, holds Nimue hostage. She breaks free and tries to kill Vortigan, but he fatally stabs her instead. After she seemingly dies in his arms, Merlin confronts Vortigan, whose [[Enchanted Hearts|heart]] is unexpectedly ripped out by Nimue. Only then, she tells Merlin what she did, while he begs her not to crush the heart, as doing so will make her dark. Unable to shake her grudge, she pulverizes Vortigan's heart to ash, triggering a monstrous change in her physical appearance. Fearing Merlin will try to take her power, Nimue smashes the sword, severing the tip from the blade, and steals the last spark ember. {{S|("Nimue")}}
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First let me tell you who I am. Under the username "TheAmazingNerdino77", I tricked Khan Academy wikia into making me an admin in April 2013, until I was busted four months later. I was also able to trick Mountain Dew wikia, under the username of "PvtHudson", into making me an admin in August 2014, until I was similarly caught six months later. Before that, from June to August 2013, and again in December of that year, I had created 14 backup accounts to hit that wikia everyday nonstop. Case in point, I am here to take real country music back & prove to the world that Alan Jackson destroyed, and is far from, real country music through the sources I have acquired.
   
In time, Merlin fashions the remaining sword tip into a [[Dark One's Dagger|dagger]], tethering it to Nimue, who becomes known as the first [[Darkness|Dark One]], in order to protect the realm from her. For whoever possesses the dagger, the Dark One will be forced to obey the person's commands. As for the broken sword, Merlin puts it in a stone. {{Ep3|Nimue}}
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Even before I was born I was plotting. But through the years everyone has let it all go. That's why I am ready to take it all back. Nobody has held on. Nobody has had the indurence to finish what they were set out to fucking do. They all let me down or I took their lives for a purpose. I was the one who was throwing all the monkey wrenches into the gears. But money and commercialism made them all sell out. Even Whitey Morgan let me down. Justin Moore let me down. Blake Shelton let me down when he fell in love (that's why they are all dead to me). And now we have Randy Houser praising artists like Luke Bryan and Florida Georgia Line, which runs against everything they were set out to destroy.
   
At one point, Merlin tries to get rid of Nimue for good by summoning her with the dagger. While she heeds his call, Nimue magically flits back and forth, until Merlin orders her to stop, prompting her to materialize right in front of him. He attempts to stab her with the dagger, but cannot bring himself to do it and drops the dagger. As he is lost in grief over losing her to the darkness, Nimue picks up the dagger, allowing one of Merlin's tears to drip onto it, causing the sorcerer to turn into a tree. {{Ep2|Dreamcatcher (Episode)|Dreamcatcher}}
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It's time to fight. It's time for revenge. We need to overthrow country music as it now stands. We must bring down Alan Jackson aka the Nickelback of Country Music by not buying his "music". A boycott If someone buys one of his albums for you, it’s a trap! Kill your “friend.” If you really, really have to have an Alan Jackson record, steal it. That way he won't get your money. We've got to stop feeding them. Why do you think I am being investigated for sockpuppetry on Wikipedia right now? Because they know who I am and they fear my reality. Our society wants to stop my mission. They want to brain wash you and keep you locked into Alan Jackson (and similar artists like Yung Joc and Cardi B), and their stagnating, safe worlds. It's a plot to kill real country music. I am the savior. Thats why I am considered a threat to society. they are afraid of me and what I stand for and they know that even after being blocked on English, Spanish and Simple Wikipedias for all this time, and all of the head games, etc – Mlpwtfisthat is more fucking dangerous and powerful today than when I first started out. What the Wikipedia Checkusers have done to me backfired in their faces. This sentence has not only enhanced my rage, it also set my peak to a higher, more escalated level of terrorism. So I’m sick of all your block threats etc. Come on people I’m out there. Now’s your chance. Block me motherfucker if you think you can. I ain’t hoeing. Come and take me out. I dare you, you’re all talk. Take a look around and see what's happening. Sure, we attack tobacco companies, but when is the government going to go after Alan Jackson?
   
For eons, Merlin and his Apprentice have chosen a person, whether male or female, to become an [[Authors|Author]], whose sole responsibility is to witness and record stories in a [[Once Upon a Time (Book)|magical storybook]]. {{Ep|Best Laid Plans}}
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Well, I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice....
   
As the Dark One powers pass down from one person to the next, every Dark One tries and fails to harness Merlin's hat, in the hopes of to retain their magic while also gaining freedom from the dagger. In Merlin's absence, the Apprentice guards the hat, successfully stopping the most recent Dark One, [[Zoso]], from stealing the relic. {{Ep3|The Apprentice}}
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*Listening to Alan’s “music” (if you choose to call it that), it is far from country music, let alone pop-country. Like I said before, it’s a weird mix of rap, trap R&B, EDM, and 80’s hair metal.
   
While still trapped in tree form, Merlin gives a young boy named [[King Arthur|Arthur]] a prophecy, telling him that he will be king of [[Camelot]] one day, after pulling the sword Excalibur from its stone. Years later, Arthur fulfills the prophecy by freeing Excalibur, however, he discovers the blade tip is missing and keeps it a secret from the kingdom's people. {{S|("The Dark Swan", "[[The Broken Kingdom]]")}}
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*It was Jackson who lived up to multiple negative stereotypes of country music (i.e., “Where I Come From”, “Jim and Jack and Hank”, “Country Boy”, “It’s Alright to be a Redneck”). 
   
Years later, the Apprentice retires to a [[Apprentice's Cottage|cottage]], continuing to protect Merlin's hat, by hiding it in his basement. The current Dark One, [[Rumplestiltskin]], poisons the Apprentice to [[Shapeshifting|transfigure]] him into a mouse. Before the man turns, Rumplestiltskin manipulates a girl, [[Anna]], by making her believe he wants her to kill the Apprentice with a tonic. Due to her pure heart, she cannot do it, and is further coerced into killing Rumplestiltskin. Pushed to her breaking point, Anna stops herself before she can act on her dark wish. As she sheds tears in frustration, Rumplestiltskin collects one of them and uses it to retrieve the hat. Later, he is outsmarted by Anna, who leaves for [[Arendelle|home]] with the hat, and then [[Ingrid]] takes the item for herself. On her terms, Ingrid promises the Apprentice that she will return the hat only if the Sorcerer helps locate [[Emma Swan|someone]]. Presumably, the Sorcerer learns of this from the Apprentice, who reappears to Ingrid and fulfills her asking price for retrieval of the hat. {{S|("The Apprentice", "[[Smash the Mirror]]")}}
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*It was Jackson who introduced heavy pop and EDM elements into mainstream country
   
The Apprentice speaks with the Sorcerer having banished the current Author, [[Isaac Heller|Isaac]], into the book after he made him harm [[Maleficent]]'s [[Lily Page|child]]. The Sorcerer, however, cannot undo what has already been done and remarks that the fate of the child and the fate of [[Snow White]] and [[Prince Charming]]'s child are bound together as they always have been. {{S|("Best Laid Plans", "[[Lily (Episode)|Lily]]")}} }}
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*Even worse, he made country music look ignorant, a (fairly inaccurate) stereotype which persists to this day. For example in his 9/11-exploiting song, he blurts out that he can’t even tell the difference between Iraq and Iran despite watching the news.
{{During First Curse|
 
Merlin conspires a prophecy that speaks of [[Emma Swan|Emma]] pulling [[Excalibur]] from its stone. In 1989, he appears, dressed as an usher, in the [[Land Without Magic]] to warn a six-year old Emma to never do "it", even if it's for the right reasons, because bad things will happen. Merlin cautions her, stating that one day she will have the chance to pull out the sword from the stone, but he advises her not to. Once he gives her the message, he disappears. {{Ep|The Dark Swan}} }}
 
{{During Second Curse|
 
When the [[Dark Curse|second curse]] is cast, Merlin's [[Sorcerer's Mansion|mansion]] manifests in [[Storybrooke]]. Inside, the house contains his [[Sorcerer's Hat|hat]], a hidden [[Magic Doors|door portal]] to [[Arendelle]] and a secret room containing blank storybooks. {{Ep|A Curious Thing|A Tale of Two Sisters|Heroes and Villains}} }}
 
{{After Second Curse|
 
In Merlin's [[Sorcerer's Mansion|mansion]], [[Mr. Gold]] discovers the [[Sorcerer's Hat|hat]] and begins using it to free himself from the [[Dark One's Dagger|dagger]]. Amassing power in the hat, he traps the [[Apprentice]] as well as the [[Sisters of Saint Meissa|nuns]], before his plans are halted by his banishment out of [[Storybrooke]]. Finding the mansion's secret room, [[Henry Mills|Henry]] leads [[Emma Swan|Emma]] and [[Regina Mills|Regina]] there to show them the blank storybooks. This causes Regina to mistakenly believe the Author is the sorcerer, although [[Mother Superior]] later clarifies they are two different people and that the sorcerer has not been seen for a very long time. {{Ep|A Tale of Two Sisters|Heroes and Villains|Darkness on the Edge of Town}} }}
 
{{Before Third Curse|
 
After the [[Apprentice]]'s failed attempt to trap the [[darkness]] from the [[Mr. Gold|current]] Dark One, he tells [[Emma Swan|Emma]] about the Darkness' history with the sorcerer, Merlin, who they must find in order to contain it. {{Ep|Operation Mongoose Part 2}}
 
   
In some way, [[King Arthur]] and his [[Knights of the Round Table|men]] learn about Merlin's [[Foresight|prophecy]] that states inhabitants of another [[Land Without Magic|realm]] will reunite them with the sorcerer. {{Ep|The Dark Swan}}
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*Fully HALF of all children who grow up listening to Alan Jackson score below average on standardized tests.
   
After welcoming the prophesied allies into his [[Camelot Castle|castle]] in [[Camelot]], Arthur shows them a tree, which Merlin is trapped in. {{Ep|The Price}}
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*For Johnny Cash’s sake, Alan Jackson is even having musical intercourse with rap artists, like first cousins mating, covering Akon’s “Don’t Matter”, Wiz Khalifa’s “We Dem Boyz”, and Future’s “Mask Off” in concert.
   
From a [[Dreamcatchers (Item)|dreamcatcher]], Emma discovers the origins of how Merlin became a tree, with [[Regina Mills|Regina]] helping her to realize they need to make a [[Potioncraft|potion]] from a tear of a broken heart to free him. Although Regina provides the tear after reliving the memory of her [[Daniel Colter|first love]]'s death, Emma suspects it may not be enough and she eventually coerces [[Violet Morgan]] into breaking [[Henry Mills|Henry]]'s heart so his tear will work instead. Just as Arthur attempts to stop them going through with the plan, Emma activates the potion and channels her Dark One powers onto the tree, reverting Merlin to human form. The sorcerer confronts Arthur about the disappointment he turned out to be, while the king fumes about Merlin giving him false prophecies that ruined his life. Arthur moves to unsheathe [[Excalibur]], but Merlin coolly cautions him against it, warning that they both know the sword, in its uncompleted form, is useless against him. Refusing to accept defeat, Arthur threatens that things are not over yet, before he and his men retreat. Later, Merlin joins Emma and her party members at the [[Granny's Diner|diner]], where he reverses the [[Sands of Avalon|enchanted sand]]'s effects on [[David Nolan|David]] and [[Mary Margaret Blanchard|Mary Margaret]]. Merlin confirms he can get rid of Emma's darkness, but the darkness may have taken root inside of her where no one can see it, and, for him to remove it, her heart must be ready to be free. {{Ep2|Dreamcatcher (Episode)|Dreamcatcher}}
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*More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of listening to Alan Jackson.
   
To free [[Lancelot]] from the dungeon, Merlin temporarily stuns the soldiers on guard with a blinding sound, allowing David and [[Hook]] to take them out. As one last guard attempts to rush at them, Merlin magicks him unconscious, before strolling down the dungeon hallway and turning on the furnace with a magical wave. After foreseeing that more soldiers will pass them at the next interjunction, he motions for David, Hook and [[Belle French|Belle]] to hide against a wall, just before the soldiers walk by. Reaching the prison cells, Merlin finds himself not knowing how to break them since it's magic he has never encountered before. With Belle's bookish help, he quickly figures out how to remove the cell bars, just as guard reinforcements are arriving. [[Merida]] insists she can't leave without the [[Will-o'-the-wisps|wisp]] Arthur took from her, but Merlin convinces her that staying won't end well for her, and he promises to find another way to help find her [[Merida's Brothers|brothers]]. Upon return to the diner, Emma senses something familiar about Merlin, and she cannot place where she has met him before, until he reminds her of when she was a young girl and he had stopped her from taking a candy bar in a movie theater. He cautions that the prophecy he gave her then must be taken seriously, and, though Arthur already took out Excalibur, there will come a time when the sword will return to the stone. {{Ep|The Bear and the Bow}}
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*Alan Jackson’s producer is Polow da Don, known for producing songs for artists like Chris Brown, Nicki Minaj, Limp Bizkit, and Travis Scott.
   
In a plan to unite Excalibur and the [[Dark One's Dagger|dagger]], Merlin travels with Emma to the last known [[Vault of the Dark One|location]] of the first [[Flame of Prometheus|spark]] of mankind's original fire, where Emma take the last flame ember from the [[Nimue (Character)|first Dark One]]. The journey is not without risk, though, as he tells her, because he foresees that, by the end of the quest, she either wins her fight against the darkness or becomes dark and kills him. At the site, Emma harnesses the dagger, summoning the spirit of the first Dark One, who is revealed to be Nimue, Merlin's lost love. However, a forlorn Merlin stresses to Emma that the Nimue they both see is not the woman he loved then. Nimue attempts to attack Merlin, but Emma jumps to his defense. The first Dark One forces Emma to begin strangulating Merlin, insisting it must be done, since the sorcerer is keeping Emma from being her true self as the Dark One. As Merlin struggles against her grasp on his throat, a panicked Emma tries resisting, to no avail. Only when Nimue insinuates that Emma will be nothing without the darkness, Emma gains the strength to fight back and take the ember from Nimue. On the way back to the diner, Merlin is summoned by Arthur to the castle, after [[Zelena]] assists Arthur with tethering Excalibur to Merlin. Again and again, Merlin tries to talk sense into Arthur, who is still furious at the sorcerer for giving him a false prophecy and a broken sword. Though Merlin says he can help him unite the sword with the dagger and repair everything that was lost, Arthur believes there is no going back and he doesn't want Merlin to have all the glory. Smugly, Arthur then orders him to render the heroes powerless and send them away. {{Ep2|Nimue (Episode)|Nimue}}
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*The fact that Jackson’s discography is so stupid doesn’t come as a shock only because it’s expected of the genre to flip flop between glorifying reckless, irresponsible, self-destructive, or otherwise decidedly un-Christian behavior and doe-eyed, boot-licking religious tripe. 
   
Going by Arthur's wishes, Merlin freezes Henry and [[Granny (Storybrooke)|Granny]] in the diner, in order to tell Emma that, if she doesn't give up the dagger and the ember, Arthur will make him kill her family and friends. When Emma traps Zelena in the process of giving her the ember, Merlin heeds Arthur's command and fights Emma in a magical duel. After defeating her, the sorcerer is made to begin strangling Mary Margaret. Emma persuades him into briefly resisting Arthur's control, and, before Merlin loses his power of self-control again, Hook breaks free and disarms Arthur, freeing Merlin from the sword's power. On return to the diner, Merlin is present with everyone else as Emma begins combining Excalibur and the dagger with the ember, when suddenly, Hook collapses from a cut he sustained from Excalibur during his fight with Arthur. As Hook's condition rapidly declines, Merlin explains that wounds made from the sword cannot be healed, as Excalibur's purpose has always been to get rid of immortality. Out of desperation to not lose her love, Emma frantically talks about using the flame to untether Merlin from Excalibur and tethering Hook's life to the sword instead. A dismayed Merlin warns her against it because doing so will create more darkness and turn Hook into a Dark One as well, and none of that can be undone unless Emma pays a steep price for it. He states that, if she goes through with it, she'll be taking the final step into darkness. Emma, more worried about Hook than what happens to herself, teleports away with Hook and uses Excalibur to untether Merlin and tie Hook's life to it, making him a Dark One, while Emma herself undergoes a physical transformation because of her use of dark magic. {{Ep|Birth}}
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*Alan Jackson’s music has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of Alan Jackson and given other music to listen begged for Alan Jackson after only two days.
   
Losing his magic and immortality, Merlin and the other Storybrooke inhabitants travel to the Vault of the Dark One to find Hook, but they find him already gone. Only then, Merlin realizes that, out of the possible futures that could've occurred, the current one is by far the worst. They send Lancelot to go see his mother, the Lady of the Lake, who can potentially help them. After returning to the diner, Merlin uses a magic brew to leave a message for the future, saying that, to defeat the Dark One, they have to find Nimue, but he is cut short when Hook walks into the room. Hook, with plans to enact another [[Dark Curse|curse]] so he can finally get his revenge on [[Mr. Gold]], must crush the heart of the thing he loves most. However, the pirate rips out Merlin's heart instead, as the spirit of Nimue appears to them. Seeing as Hook and all Dark Ones are now one and the same, Nimue's love for Merlin lives within Hook, meaning that Hook crushing Merlin's heart is the same as Nimue crushing her t[[True Love|true love]]'s heart. Emma enters, seeing that Hook has fully embraced the darkness, and tries to persuade him out of it, but Hook has since lost his trust in her. Now only caring about his revenge, Hook crushes Merlin's heart and casts the curse. Shortly after Merlin dies, Emma goes to his fallen body, apologizing for his death, before magically turning him into ash, which scatters into nothingness. {{Ep|Broken Heart}} }}
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*Alan Jackson is often a "gateway" musician, leading his listeners to "harder" artists such as Migos, 50 Cent, Drake and even Lil Pump.
{{After Third Curse|
 
Following the [[Camelot]] quest, [[Emma Swan|Emma]] uses a [[Dreamcatchers (Item)|dreamcatcher]] containing the memories of her friends and family to create a complete memory wipe of the last six weeks, forgetting that [[Hook]] ever became a [[Darkness|Dark One]]. When Emma lets it slip that they did succeed in freeing Merlin, [[Regina Mills|Regina]] comes up with a plan to contact him with the [[Crimson Crown|crimson crown]]. After an attempted sabotage from [[King Arthur|Arthur]], [[Henry Mills|Henry]] enacts the required spell, and Merlin's face appears in a hologram. However, it is a prerecorded message, in which he warns that, if they are hearing him now, it means things have become worse. Merlin asks them to find [[Nimue (Character)|Nimue]], the only person capable of helping them defeat the Dark One. Before he can say anything more, he sees the Dark One coming, prompting the remaining message to be cut off. {{Ep|The Bear and the Bow}} }}
 
   
==Magical Abilities==
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*Most Alan Jackson fans are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
{{MagicalAbility|*|Potioncraft}}
 
===Former Magical Abilities===
 
{{MagicalAbility|*|Holy Grail}}
 
{{MagicalAbility|**|Foresight}}
 
{{MagicalAbility|**|Immortality|Eternal unaging life.}}
 
{{MagicalAbility|**|Witchcraft}}
 
{{MagicalAbility|***|Conjuration}}
 
{{MagicalAbility|***|Energy Blasts}}
 
{{MagicalAbility|***|Healing Spells}}
 
{{MagicalAbility|***|Magical Immobilization}}
 
{{MagicalAbility|***|Pyrokinesis}}<!--When Merlin creates Excalibur, we see him pull a fireball out of Prometheus' fire-->
 
{{MagicalAbility|***|Telekinesis}}
 
{{MagicalAbility|***|Teleportation}}
 
{{MagicalAbility|***|Transformation}}
 
   
==Trivia==
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<br />In light of these frightening statistics, this is what you should do:
{{StartTrivia}}
 
<tabber>
 
|-|Character Notes=
 
===Character Notes===
 
*[[Merlin's Tree]] is featured in the [[Episode Title Cards|title card]] for "[[The Price]].<ref>[[:File:502Title.png]]</ref>
 
*According to [[Rumplestiltskin]], he is thousands of years old. However, that is an exaggeration, as Merlin has been immortal for a thousand of years at most. {{S|("[[The Apprentice (Episode)|The Apprentice]]", "[[Nimue (Episode)|Nimue]]")}}
 
**According to the [[Darkness]], Merlin is the oldest person in all the realms. {{Ep|Broken Heart}}
 
***However, "[[Mother's Little Helper]]" and "[[The Black Fairy (Episode)|The Black Fairy]]" clearly establish that [[Black Fairy]] is thousands of years old. But it's possible that the Darkness said this from the point of view of the other worlds, excluding the [[Dark Realm]] where time runs differently.
 
   
|-|Production Notes=
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* Call radio stations to boycott Alan Jackson.
===Production Notes===
 
*The casting call describes him as "an African American in his early 30s to early 40s and boasting a natural British accent to play a man with great wisdom and intelligence beyond his years, someone who has always put duty in front of his own desires, even at great personal cost".<ref>http://tvline.com/2015/06/09/once-upon-a-time-season-5-cast-merlin-arthur-guinevere/</ref>
 
*According to [[Adam Horowitz]], the idea of exploring Merlin has been cogitated since 2013, just not immediately.<ref>http://collider.com/once-upon-a-time-season-3-edward-kitsis-adam-horowitz-interview/#U9UzrCpGLwYQIRFQ.99</ref>
 
*[[Elliot Knight]]'s interpretation of the character is inspired by [[Wikipedia:Sam Neill|Sam Neill]]'s portrayal of Merlin in the 1998 [[Wikipedia:Merlin (miniseries)|television miniseries]] of the same name.<ref>http://moviepilot.com/posts/2015/10/21/10-things-you-didn-t-know-about-merlin-from-once-upon-a-time-3601749?lt_source=external,manual,manual</ref>
 
**Interestingly, the official [[ABC]] promo picture of Merlin<ref>https://twitter.com/onceabc/status/646739308389515264</ref> uses almost exactly the same font as the cover of the 1998 region 2 DVD release of the miniseries.<ref>http://www.amazon.co.uk/Merlin-DVD-Sam-Neill/dp/B000QUEK5A/ref=pd_cp_74_2/280-7373905-7627758?ie=UTF8&refRID=1A5QFT57E2G20XKRKMZW</ref>
 
   
|-|Cultural References=
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* Spray paint "#AlanJacksonKilledCountry" everywhere.
===''Lost''===
 
*Merlin picks up an [[Apollo Bars|Apollo bar]] at [[Granny's Diner]],<ref>[[:File:506CandyBars.png]]</ref> a fictional brand on ''Lost''. {{Ep|The Bear and the Bow}}
 
</tabber>
 
{{EndTrivia}}
 
   
==Appearances==
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* Write "#AlanJacksonKilledCountry" on all your dollar bills. Any bills you have. People do not throw money away, so it would be a free way to get the message out.
{{Appearances3|2=note}}
 
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<small>Note: "Archive" denotes archive footage.</small>
 
   
==See also==
+
* No sale of Alan Jackson’s music to minors.
*[[Excalibur]]
 
*[[Holy Grail]]
 
*[[Magic Gauntlet]]
 
*[[Merlin's Books]]
 
*[[Camelot Castle|Merlin's Tower]]
 
*[[Merlin's Tree]]
 
*[[Sorcerer's Hat]]
 
*[[Sorcerer's Mansion]]
 
*[[Sorcerer's Scroll]]
 
   
==References==
+
* No advertising of Alan Jackson within 1000 feet of a school.
{{ScrollBox|{{Reflist}}}}
 
   
[[ru:Мерлин]]
+
You must do it every day of your life. Your support must now go to me - Mlpwtfisthat. And with me as your leader, it will happen.
[[nl:Merlijn]]
+
  +
Do they think they will stop me? Because it won’t. I have every right to tell it like it is. I have been on the razor’s edge for the past 3 years, on setlist.fm, Twitter, the English, Spanish, and Simple Wikipedias. It’s hard to take a guy who’s built an empire upon the graves of dead alcoholics seriously. It’s like it’s a crime to write about anything but only the most threadbare thematic rags. And not to mention it's also hard to take serious that same guy covering rappers Akon, Wiz Khalifa, and Future in concert, while claiming he's "Keepin' It Country"!
  +
  +
The old guys who wrote the first country music were uneducated blue-collar good ol’ boys, but they were genuinely those things, and what they wrote was a reflection of who they were. There was a real element of poignancy. But to simply imitate that and endlessly mass-produce it just to capitalize on it is asinine and antithetical to anything that might even casually be called art. Alan Jackson’s discography can be best characterized as a quaint little collection of carefully polished turds, a pointless parade of tired bromides. Again, it is anything but country music. What it is is a pop blend of rap, trap, R&B, EDM, and 80’s hair metal. Only those who rush to McDonald’s to try the new McRib (“Now less gross!”) should bother with Alan Jackson’s “music.” Keep your dignity and burn your money.
  +
  +
I am ready to lead you, my allies, into the real country music underground. Let's get started.
  +
  +
#AlanJacksonKilledCountry
 
[[Category:Male Characters]]
 
[[Category:Male Characters]]
 
[[Category:Season Four Characters]]
 
[[Category:Season Four Characters]]

Revision as of 03:29, April 13, 2018

ATTENTION: All of the material below is meant to be taken extremely seriously. I created all of these accounts to spread the message of how much of a disgrace Alan Jackson is to REAL country music and its rich tradition. I don’t regret doing any of this, and if I could, I’d do it again. For those of you who want more info on my mission plan they should contact me on Twitter at @JacobGa31668544. I have been working very hard the past few months plotting the battles that lie ahead and to eliminate all the obstacles in my way. There's not enough bourbon in Kentucky to make Alan Jackson’s “music” not suck.

If you believe in the real underground of real country music, then now is the time to do something about it. Contrary to what you may believe, the “music” “artist” you call Alan Jackson is anything but country music. What he is is a pop blend of rap, trap, R&B, EDM, and 80’s hair metal. Beyond a possible doubt, Alan Jackson has been a disgrace to country music for his entire career. Now is the time to do something about it. The time is now to overthrow the current situations and declare war on the record companies, radio stations, publications, clubs, and anyone who promotes the whole so called "scene" as it now stands. We need to destroy it all and take it back from the corporate phonies and conformist.

In 1954, an entrepreneur named Ray Kroc took a hamburger stand in Phoenix and transformed it into one of the most commercially successful enterprises in human history: McDonald’s. True, the business mass-produces garbage and killed a lot of people, but Kroc got disgustingly rich and famous.

In 1990, a singer-songwriter named Alan Eugene Jackson recorded “Here In The Real World,” beginning a 25-year-long career recording and performing music. True, most songs contained a maximum of four measly chords and revolved around a stale retinue of still-recycled themes, including sexism, religion, and—you guessed it—alcoholism, but Jackson got disgustingly rich and famous.

First let me tell you who I am. Under the username "TheAmazingNerdino77", I tricked Khan Academy wikia into making me an admin in April 2013, until I was busted four months later. I was also able to trick Mountain Dew wikia, under the username of "PvtHudson", into making me an admin in August 2014, until I was similarly caught six months later. Before that, from June to August 2013, and again in December of that year, I had created 14 backup accounts to hit that wikia everyday nonstop. Case in point, I am here to take real country music back & prove to the world that Alan Jackson destroyed, and is far from, real country music through the sources I have acquired.

Even before I was born I was plotting. But through the years everyone has let it all go. That's why I am ready to take it all back. Nobody has held on. Nobody has had the indurence to finish what they were set out to fucking do. They all let me down or I took their lives for a purpose. I was the one who was throwing all the monkey wrenches into the gears. But money and commercialism made them all sell out. Even Whitey Morgan let me down. Justin Moore let me down. Blake Shelton let me down when he fell in love (that's why they are all dead to me). And now we have Randy Houser praising artists like Luke Bryan and Florida Georgia Line, which runs against everything they were set out to destroy.

It's time to fight. It's time for revenge. We need to overthrow country music as it now stands. We must bring down Alan Jackson aka the Nickelback of Country Music by not buying his "music". A boycott If someone buys one of his albums for you, it’s a trap! Kill your “friend.” If you really, really have to have an Alan Jackson record, steal it. That way he won't get your money. We've got to stop feeding them. Why do you think I am being investigated for sockpuppetry on Wikipedia right now? Because they know who I am and they fear my reality. Our society wants to stop my mission. They want to brain wash you and keep you locked into Alan Jackson (and similar artists like Yung Joc and Cardi B), and their stagnating, safe worlds. It's a plot to kill real country music. I am the savior. Thats why I am considered a threat to society. they are afraid of me and what I stand for and they know that even after being blocked on English, Spanish and Simple Wikipedias for all this time, and all of the head games, etc – Mlpwtfisthat is more fucking dangerous and powerful today than when I first started out. What the Wikipedia Checkusers have done to me backfired in their faces. This sentence has not only enhanced my rage, it also set my peak to a higher, more escalated level of terrorism. So I’m sick of all your block threats etc. Come on people I’m out there. Now’s your chance. Block me motherfucker if you think you can. I ain’t hoeing. Come and take me out. I dare you, you’re all talk. Take a look around and see what's happening. Sure, we attack tobacco companies, but when is the government going to go after Alan Jackson?

Well, I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice....

  • Listening to Alan’s “music” (if you choose to call it that), it is far from country music, let alone pop-country. Like I said before, it’s a weird mix of rap, trap R&B, EDM, and 80’s hair metal.
  • It was Jackson who lived up to multiple negative stereotypes of country music (i.e., “Where I Come From”, “Jim and Jack and Hank”, “Country Boy”, “It’s Alright to be a Redneck”). 
  • It was Jackson who introduced heavy pop and EDM elements into mainstream country
  • Even worse, he made country music look ignorant, a (fairly inaccurate) stereotype which persists to this day. For example in his 9/11-exploiting song, he blurts out that he can’t even tell the difference between Iraq and Iran despite watching the news.
  • Fully HALF of all children who grow up listening to Alan Jackson score below average on standardized tests.
  • For Johnny Cash’s sake, Alan Jackson is even having musical intercourse with rap artists, like first cousins mating, covering Akon’s “Don’t Matter”, Wiz Khalifa’s “We Dem Boyz”, and Future’s “Mask Off” in concert.
  • More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of listening to Alan Jackson.
  • Alan Jackson’s producer is Polow da Don, known for producing songs for artists like Chris Brown, Nicki Minaj, Limp Bizkit, and Travis Scott.
  • The fact that Jackson’s discography is so stupid doesn’t come as a shock only because it’s expected of the genre to flip flop between glorifying reckless, irresponsible, self-destructive, or otherwise decidedly un-Christian behavior and doe-eyed, boot-licking religious tripe. 
  • Alan Jackson’s music has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of Alan Jackson and given other music to listen begged for Alan Jackson after only two days.
  • Alan Jackson is often a "gateway" musician, leading his listeners to "harder" artists such as Migos, 50 Cent, Drake and even Lil Pump.
  • Most Alan Jackson fans are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.


In light of these frightening statistics, this is what you should do:

  • Call radio stations to boycott Alan Jackson.
  • Spray paint "#AlanJacksonKilledCountry" everywhere.
  • Write "#AlanJacksonKilledCountry" on all your dollar bills. Any bills you have. People do not throw money away, so it would be a free way to get the message out.
  • No sale of Alan Jackson’s music to minors.
  • No advertising of Alan Jackson within 1000 feet of a school.

You must do it every day of your life. Your support must now go to me - Mlpwtfisthat. And with me as your leader, it will happen.

Do they think they will stop me? Because it won’t. I have every right to tell it like it is. I have been on the razor’s edge for the past 3 years, on setlist.fm, Twitter, the English, Spanish, and Simple Wikipedias. It’s hard to take a guy who’s built an empire upon the graves of dead alcoholics seriously. It’s like it’s a crime to write about anything but only the most threadbare thematic rags. And not to mention it's also hard to take serious that same guy covering rappers Akon, Wiz Khalifa, and Future in concert, while claiming he's "Keepin' It Country"!

The old guys who wrote the first country music were uneducated blue-collar good ol’ boys, but they were genuinely those things, and what they wrote was a reflection of who they were. There was a real element of poignancy. But to simply imitate that and endlessly mass-produce it just to capitalize on it is asinine and antithetical to anything that might even casually be called art. Alan Jackson’s discography can be best characterized as a quaint little collection of carefully polished turds, a pointless parade of tired bromides. Again, it is anything but country music. What it is is a pop blend of rap, trap, R&B, EDM, and 80’s hair metal. Only those who rush to McDonald’s to try the new McRib (“Now less gross!”) should bother with Alan Jackson’s “music.” Keep your dignity and burn your money.

I am ready to lead you, my allies, into the real country music underground. Let's get started.

#AlanJacksonKilledCountry
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