Board Thread:Character Discussion/@comment-34563899-20180202235154/@comment-24386552-20180212045824

Emillian Swanones wrote: I'm going to try and re-explain why I think Rumple's actions hurt Milah and I will try my best to provide evidence. So here goes:

Rumple and Milah are poor, which meant their lives were already difficult at the earliest point we see them in the timeline. Being socially accepted is very important in any society, but it can be even more important in a low socioeconomic status because it means you can get outside help. There is no government assistance where they live, so Rumple and Milah would have to rely on help from the other villagers if they needed it. When Rumple cripples himself, he becomes the village coward which causes his family's status in the social ladder to nose dive. When he returns, Milah is angry at him for injuring himself and lashes out. Milah was verbally abusive in this instance, but she was doing so because Rumple's actions hurt the lives of their family whether he meant to or not. So I can sympathize with her. Milah tells Rumple that "This isn't a life" (a sign of depression) and asks him if they could leave. Rumple then refuses to speak with her about it, saying "We talked about this." When Milah goes to the tavern in 5x14, she is harrassed. I believe this is due to the social status Rumple put them in. When Rumple comes back with the cure for Bae and tells her he sold his second born child. Milah responds with "You sold our child?" Rumple then says "We don't have a second born child. We just have to make sure we never do." To which Milah replies, "Because you sold it, you sold our future, our family." Hence why I think Rumple selling his reproductive rights was also selling hers. Yes, Milah was willing to kill Fendrake to save Bae, but she was in a desparate situation and it seemed like the only option she had. When Milah and Rumple meet up in 2x04 years after she runs away from her incredibly difficult life caused by Rumple which made her spiral into depression, he kills her for rejecting him. Before that, when Rumple confronts her about leaving Bae, she said "I let my misery cloud my judgement." He askes her why she was so miserable and she responds with "I never loved you." I believe this to be false because in 2x14 she looks at him fondly and is concered when Rumple tells her he's been called to the front. Rumple tells her he wants to prove he isn't a coward like his father was and she tells him to go and fights. They also say "I love you" and that they can "start living the life they've always dreamed of." So Rumple crippling himself essentially hurt Milah because it took away her (and their family's) oppurtunity at having the life they want.

Was Milah verbally abusive to Rumple? Yes. But she lashed out at him because he made their lives even more difficult then they already were which made her depressed. As someone who suffers from depression, I can understand why Milah acted the way she did. She wasn't right to be verbally abusive and leave her family, but I can symphathize with her given the situation she was put in. While I can understand both sides of this argument, I'm really having a hard time trying to figure out what the "right" thing to do was or the better option especially when we go back to the core of their whole issue with Rumple injuring himself. Assuming the opposite would've happened (fought and die in war), Milah would be an honored widow and Bae would've grown up without a father. Happy ending, right? Not for all parties. Especially when Rumple didn't want the same experience he had with Malcolm to be brought upon his own son.

Now onto his return: When he got back, Milah was visibly upset because of his choice. Saying very nasty things to his face like he should've died. Yes, it affected her too but when you look at two long-term consequences, he clearly thought he was doing the better thing by being there for Bae. It was either a father but low reputation or no father and high reputation with resentment guaranteed. Who's to say Milah wouldn't have resented him if he chose the latter? Honor only goes so far before you realize you're doing it all alone.

Fast-forward a few years later, Bae gets injured which could nearly led to his death. Sure, Milah was desperate for options which even meant throwing out her morality for Bae. However, the moment her choice sealed whatever fate she'd be handed, was when she had Rumple go to off Fendrake and not do it herself. If she truly wanted the easiest outcome, she should've done it herself and taken the risk but since she didn't that was left to Rumple who almost killed upon her order but didn't have it in him. He was offered a second option which he took because from where he was standing, it meant Bae getting to live and while he wouldn't be able to have a second child himself without giving them up, he'd always have Bae. Milah didn't come to mind because unless he had a magic wand to fix all the issues they had, she'd never be satisfied. If it was up to her, they'd be able to get the potion for free and their child would be happy and alive, everything would be fine. Unfortunately, life's not that simple nor is it that easy. Not to mention, it should not fall onto one person to fix all the problems a family has.

I won't say Milah deserved to be in a bind with her reproductive rights but the idea of Rumple needing to magically solve their problems in one fell swoop is ludicrous. If she really wanted to get that, she should've tried. Now the other options were to kill Fendrake, stain his heart which would further deteriorate his mind, or let Bae die, accept the loss, and part ways with Milah which is also backwards logic. This brings me to a theory that maybe they weren't all that in love to begin with and it was loosely arranged which would make a lot sense because it seemed really easy for them to break.

Honestly speaking, they're both cowards. Let's agree to disagree on that. She wouldn't take responsibility for her actions and he failed to the same when it came to some of his.

I still stand by my belief that they were both terrible for each other.