Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-4050367-20140709230921/@comment-25289423-20140810230342

DZAV21 wrote: And now for a rendition of (Henry's Future Family Dinner)

Charming: "I have to admit I'm surprised, I never in a million years thought I'd ever all of "US" at one table. Not trying to kill, curse, or tourcher each other."

Snow: "Yes... And we owe it all to Henry."

Everyone: "Yes! Here, Here!"

Henry: "It was nothing guys. I'd just like us all to get along once in a while and not fight about stupid things... After all we are a family."

Belle: "So true Henry... And we should what family's do for one another... For instance they don't look you in the eye and promise they WON'T do SOMETHING and then go behind your back and do it anyway. Then makes vows to ALWAYS be honest and true to you...."

Rumple: ".....Haha... (clears throat)... Yes dear... Would you like some more turkey?"

Belle: "Shore...... After all you've got your dagger to cut it with..."

Em: "(Quickly changing subject) SPEAKING of turkey!... Robin, this is delicious.... You must've been the best chef in Sherwood."

Robin: "Oh..... It's nothing really. All it takes is a fire, a spite, and a magic bow that never misses it's target."

Regina: "And his one true soul mate showing him that "MARINating" won't lead to a happy result in the end... Dispite the fact that SOMEONE once tried to convince him otherwise by bringing IT back to him and running my perfect recipe..."

Em: "Uhmm... Well mabey SOMEONE wouldn't have had to rune your perfect little recipe if you hadn't have been such a psychotic chef in the OLD kitchen.."

(Lights start flickering as Regina & Em's rage grows.)

Snow: "(Quickly interrupting) OOOOkkkkk..... I think that's enough cooking tips for the evening. Why don't we changed the subject. Um... Killian! Any problems with your hand?"

Killian: "No, no.... Truthfully it's as if I never lost it. Though I have to admit after so long I'm somewhat nostalgic towards the hook."

Rumple: "Well if you miss your precious hook so much and your more comfortable with just one hand, I'd be perfectly happy to take the other back."

Killian: "No, once was enough thank you. Besides, you did return it to me purely out of the....... Generosity of your heart... After all, you did cut it off due to some drastic circumstance. (Talks under his breath while about to take a drink) Like killing my first love over a bean."

Rumple: "Your first love???.... Oh you mean MY first wife, whom you soled... And the bean that would reunite me with our son whom she abandoned..."

Killian: "At least she wasn't a coward who let him fall through a portal alone..."

Rumple: "What did you just say to me pirate??...."

Charming: "(Intervenes fast) Guy's! Guy's! Guy's! Enough. The past is the past, remember why we're here.... We're a family and we owe it to Henry AND TO OURSELVES to prove that we can all move past our deferences and be civil. Am I right??.."

Everyone: ".................. Your right."

Henry: "Thanks grandpa........ Hey mom!"

Em & Regina: "(Simultaneity) Yeah Henry... Yes Henry..."

Henry: "(Laughs) Oh, I meant Emma... Pass the potatoes please. Thanks..... Hey dad!"

Killian & Robin: "(Simultaneity) Yes lad???.... What is it Henry???"

Henry: "Sorry, I ment Robin... Are we still on for the hunting trip next week? Mom said I could go with you and Roland."

Em: "I did? When did I say that?"

Regina: "He meant me. I said he could go."

Em: "And you didn't think to run it by me to see if I thought it was a good idea?"

Regina: "I didn't think you'd mind... I thought it'd be good for Henry to spend some time with his father and brother. He'll be perfectly safe under Robin's care, he'd never let anything happen to him you know that."

Em: "I do know that. It's not Robin I'm worried about. It's sharp arrows, wild animals, and getting lost in the woods that I'm worried about."

Regina: "Oh so my husband can't teach our son how to survive in the woods but yours can show him how to load and fire a canon for war in the middle of the ocean?"

Em: "That's not the same thing and you know it."

Robin: "(Intervenes) ALL!... All do respect Emma. Henry is strong and highly intelligent young man that BOTH of you should be proud of... Now that being said, I think you've taught him how to trust his instincts and be awere of his surroundings. Therefore I believe he'd be more then capable of handling any situation, good or bad. And just look at Roland, years behind Henry but knows the woods like the back of his hand."

Em: "All do respect Robin. But Roland and born and raised in the forest and knows all about bows and tents and killing things... Henry was raised in Manhattan and they don't exactly have deer frolicking down Time Square.

Henry: "Mom! I'll be fine.... I promise I'll be really careful and won't do anything stupid. And I wasn't technically raised in New York, remember? Those were curse memories.... So please, can I go?"

Em: ".......... Ok, fine. But no creepy war paint or camo pants."

Henry: "Deal........"

Em: "Did you know about this?"

Killian: "He mentioned it to me, he said his mother give him permission so I naturally assumed he was referring to you."

Henry: " Grandpa?......"

Charming & Rumple: "(Simultaneity) Yeah Henry?...... Yes Henry?...."

Henry: "Ok that's it, I can't keep doing this...... I am so lucky I know I am. But I have two amazing moms, two awesome legendarystepdads, and four grandparents.... The only things I don't confuse in a crowded room are my little uncle and stepbrother. So I need to come up with a simpler way of telling you all apart when we're together like this..."

Charming: "That's easy Henry, just call one of your mother's and fathers "mom & dad" and call the others by there names. You can do the same with the four of us too if it makes things less complicated."

Henry: "Ok.... But how do I decide to who to call what?"

Em: "Easy kid, you call me "Mom" and Regina "Regina" simple..."

Regina: "Well why can't he call me "Mom" and you "Emma?" Wouldn't that be just as simple."

Em: "Yeah, but I'm him mother so he should call me Mom."

Regina: "I was his mother first. So it only makes sense he call me Mom."

Em: "I gave birth to him..."

Regina "And I raised him after you gave him up...."

Killian: "Now, now, ladies... If I may, this is going nowhere fast. And I strongly suggest we find a civil manner in which to resolve this solution before the dessert is served."

Robin: "I agree with Killian.... How about drawing straws to determine the monikers?"

Em: "Yeah. And next we'll play Rocks, Paper, Scissors.... No there's only one way this is going, I'm Mom he's Dad your Regina & Robin end of story...."

Robin: "Why does Henry get to call him dad?"

Killian: "Well why wouldn't he? If Emma's his mother, I'm his his father."

Regina: "So are we! I mean so is he! I mean..... I'M HIS MOTHER And therefore Robin is his father."

Killian: "I'm sorry but I knew the boy before Robin. Besides he already has a son and unless the lady Swan would like to change her mind, then Henry is the only one I'm ever going to have!"

Em: "Killian I told you I'm not having this conversation again!"

Snow & Charming: "(Simultaneity) What conversation????"

Rumple: "If I may point out that NEITHER of you are his father, he only had one and you all seem to have no problem forgetting him!"

Em: "Don't you dear go there.."

Belle: "Well Rumple's right! All of you at each others throats over who gets be what. When your forgetting that Henry aready had a father who literally gave his life for him."

Robin: "We haven't forgotten... And how dear the two of you imply otherwise, especially here and now."

Henry: "OK THAT'S ENOUGH!!!!!!! THIS DINNER WAS A MISTAKE!!!!!! I've had it!!!!! (gets up and leaves)"

Roland: "......... This was a baaaaaaddddd idea...."

Regina: "Yes it was sweetheart................. AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!"

Em: "MY FAULT? IT WAS YOUR FAULT!"

Robin: "DON'T BLAME HER IT WAS THE TWO OF YOU!!!!!"

Killian: "US? WELL WHAT ABOUT YOU AND THEM!!!!!!!"

Rumple: "US? NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU ALL HAD JUST KEPT YOUR MOUTHS SHUT!!!!!!!!"

Belle: "WELL YOU DIDN'T EXACTLY HELP ANY!!!!!!!!!!!

(Everyone continues to blame and talk over each other as Charming & Snow sink lower in their seats.)

Charming: "How many days till Thanksgiving again???"

Snow: "Now enough.... But I know what I want for Christmas."

Charming: "A tranquilizer?"

Snow: "No... A We're Not Home sign...)

Honestly this made me laugh sooooo hard I want it to be true