User:Schroeswald/Pilot (Retold)/Transcript

''Emma is putting on makeup and is in a dress that looks exactly like the one from the original Pilot. There is a knock on her door and she runs through her apartment, exactly like the one from the original Pilot. She opens the door to see Lily, wearing casual shorts and a T-shirt.''

Lily: Happy Birthday!

Emma: Lily!

Lily: You know that you don’t have to dress up for dates anymore, I’m moving in next week.

Emma: Yes but until you move in I’ll be showing you my best, the moment you get all your stuff in the apartment, BOOM, casual Friday every day.

''Lily pulls a cupcake out from behind her back. She then closes the door and they hop onto a chair and get out a computer, turning on Netflix when there is a knock on the door, then a few seconds wait, then another and then two seconds later a third knock. ''

Emma: I’ll go get it, wait here.

''She gets up and opens the door, then we see her look around, then down to see Henry. He barges right in, to the confusion of Emma and Lily. ''

Henry: Hi, which one of you is Emma Swan?

Emma: I am...?

Henry: My name is Henry Mills, and I’m your son.

Cut to black and then an author's book with the title, Once Upon A Time: Retold.

Emma: So what are you doing here and why do you think I’m your mother?

Henry: You gave up a child for adoption ten years ago right?

Emma: Yeah, but why would that be you?

Henry: I tracked my birth mother using information from our town’s Mother Superior, and it led to here, at the intersection of Snow and Prince Street.

Emma: Well you’re heading back home, where is that exactly?

Henry: Storybrooke, Maine, my adoptive mother is the sherif there.

Emma: (Under her breath) Great, his mom knows how to shoot me.

Lily: Storybrooke? Are you serious on that?

Henry: It’s named that because everyone is a fairy tale character.

Henry turns around and starts walking away.

Emma: I’m sorry, what?

Henry turns back to look at them.

Henry: Come on, I know where your car is, you’re still taking me back home right?

''We cut to Prince Charming, he is riding his horse, it is exactly as in the Pilot but instead of the forest he rides into a large castle to be passing by Red, Aurora and Cinderella. He gets off his horse and runs into a room where Snow White is sitting around.''

Snow White: Charming why are you so worried?

Prince Charming: The Queen, she’s escaped, and all she left was this.

''He holds up a long piece of gold thread. Snow starts to grab her armor, a bow and quiver with a sword.''

Snow White: So Rumplestiltskin helped her, we just took his prison from Victoria, let’s get ready, we don’t know what he’s capable of.

''The scene cuts to the same cell that Rumple was held in during the pilot. Snow and Charming walk into the same hallway, guided by the Jailer.''

Snow White: Rumplestiltskin, we found-

Rumplestiltskin: Yes I know what you found, I know everything, I know you think I freed her but I didn’t, I can choose my deals.

Prince Charming: You seem, more sane than the stories tell.

Rumplestiltskin: I made a deal with my powers, sanity for taking the next deal that I am offered.

Snow White: Well then we want to know who freed the Queen, in exchange we wi-

Rumplestiltskin: When did I say that I haven’t had to take a deal already? And I won’t accept this deal, I know what the price will be, and I don’t want to separate another mother from her child.

Snow White: What do you mean, how do you know?

Rumplestiltskin: Well dearie, I know everything.

Prince Charming: Why can’t you offer another deal if you don’t want our child?

Rumplestiltskin: I may know everything but I can’t control the deal.

Snow White: Come on David, lets go.

Snow and Charming turn around and leave, the camera pans back to Rumple and a blue dot flies into the cage, suddenly it grows into the Blue Fairy who shakes off her wings.

Blue Fairy: I know you didn’t like that.

Rumplestiltskin: I would have done that anyway, our deal would have changed nothing, now it’s time for you to live up to your side of the deal.

''Blue waves her wand and the bars in the cage disappear while Rumple walks out. ''

Rumplestiltskin: Reul and Rumple, together again, trying to murder a queen.

Blue Fairy: (Acting overly scandalized at the thought and shoving him) Rumple! I am a queen, I would never help you murder anyone. I’d help you execute them.

''We cut to a road in Maine, the yellow bug is driving along and we zoom into the back seat, where Henry is sleeping, clutching a notebook as tight as possible. In the front Emma and Lily are talking.''

Lily: So, um, can you tell me how Henry happened?

Emma: Well back when I was in the closet, even to myself, in high school, I had a boyfriend, and well, I got pregnant, he ditched me and so I had to give the child up for adoption.

Lily: I'm so sorry about that.

Emma: Really? I though you'd be mad.

Lily grabs Emma’s arm

Lily: You are my true love, I won’t let anything come between us.

''She gives Emma a little peck on the cheek, we zoom to Emma’s face and see her smiling in a way that the one we know wouldn’t have until Season Six. Back in Snow’s castle we are at the war room, we see Snow, Charming, Granny, Red, Cinderella, Aurora, the Jailer and the dwarves.''

Prince Charming: It has come to our attention that the Evil Queen has broken free from her cell, all that was left in her cell was a piece of gold thread.

Jailer: And I just received word that Rumple has escaped, the bars are completely vanished.

Aurora: Sounds like the Blue Fairy.

Granny: So what do we do about that?

''Suddenly the Evil Queen poofs into the room and everyone prepares their weapons ''

Evil Queen: Oh calm down everyone! I’m not here to hurt you or anything!

Grumpy: Then what the hell are you here for?

Evil Queen: Just a little courtesy warning for little miss perfect here. (She turns to Snow) You, your child and everyone in this bloody forest is going to be cursed, and no true love’s kiss will be able to wake you all up!

''The Queen leaves as suddenly as she arrived, leaving everyone dumbfounded. We then cut to Storybrooke, almost exactly like we first saw it, as the bug drives onto Main Street. We make sure to get a shot of a woman crumpled in the corner, a couple beer can lying around.''

Emma: So this is your town kid?

Henry: Yep!

Lily: And what’s your address?

Henry: 1-6-2-3 Queen Street

Before Emma can start moving we see the police car drive in and Regina step out of it.

Regina: Come on Mary!

Drunk Woman: It’s Mary Margaret, K?

Regina: Do I look like I care? Just get in, I’m writing you up for underaged drinking.

She grabs Mary Margaret’s arm and suddenly Henry runs out of the car.

Henry: Leave her alone Regina!

Looking first angry and then overjoyed Regina runs towards him and scoops him up.

Regina: Where have you been! I was worried sick, (sees Emma and Lily get out of the car) And who are these women!

Emma: I gave birth to Henry.

Lily: And I’m her girlfriend.

Regina: (Taking pause) Girlfriend.

Emma: (Confrontationally) Anything wrong with that?

Regina: No, nothing at all, now if you’ll excuse me I have to bring my son home and arrest this gir- oh crap where is she?

We see that Mary Margaret is completely gone.

Henry: (Sarcastically, and with a big smile on her face) Oh no. Wherever could she be?

Regina: Ok, now you’re grounded. (Turns to Emma, and talking in a sickenly sweet voice) Would you be willing to come over to my house tomorrow morning so we can discuss this?

Emma: (Imitating Regina’s tone) Sure, I would love to.

Regina: 8:15 it is.

Regina and Henry leave while Emma and Lily stare at her, confused.

Mysterious Voice: Don’t worry, it’s not personal, she treats everyone like that.

''Emma and Lily turn around to see Red, dressed in all red leather and using the upper part of a lamppost as a staff pull herself out of the sewer. ''

Red: Hi, I’m Ruby Red Horowitz, but you can call me R.R. I run a place for homeless girls, and you seem to be lacking a home.

Lily: We have a home… we just need a place to spend the night.

R.R.: Well that’s great because I have one, now follow me.

''R.R. jumps into the sewer, and after a few seconds looking confused, Emma and Lily climb in after her. We then cut to the Enchanted Forest, the Evil Queen’s castle, we see the Queen standing next to woman looking to be in her late forties, behind them are a variety of children and in front of them are a woman in her forties and an older teenage boy, in the center is a cauldron.''

Woman: No, Victoria, Regina, please don’t make me do this.

Victoria: How about no? We don’t love anyone, you do and have plenty of hostages we can kill.

Teen: Mother, you have to do it.

Woman: But it will curse the whole forest, none of our lives are worth it.

Teen: No, I see the breaking of the curse, it, it...

Suddenly his eyes start to glow, and he holds out his hands, and we see eyes on his hands.

Teen Oracle: The curse will be broken in 30 years time, by two women who come to town, both courting the other. Before it is broken one caster will kill another, and the third suffer a fate worse than death, unless…

The oracle grabs his mother and the two start being surrounded by a glowing light, when it passes we see him on the ground, with the dust of a crushed heart, and the woman has eyes on her hands.

Victoria: We have to go.

''She and the Queen poof away, leaving the woman and her children all alone, she starts to cry, when suddenly Rumple and Blue appear. Rumple clearly cares about her and runs to her while Blue hovers above.''

Rumplestiltskin: Oh dearie, oh dearie, what happened.

Oracle Woman: They made me kill him to cast the curse, but he said that the curse would be broken, by, by...

Blue Fairy: Speak up woman, what will break the curse!

Oracle Woman:He said that two girlfriends will come to town and break the curse in 30 years, and that following this one of the casters will kill another, and the other will suffer a fate worse than death, unless, they became an Oracle, he must have ensured that it happened to me.

Rumplestiltskin: Well then, I guess that means you’re our ace in the hole.

Blue Fairy: I have a white elephant, if you sprinkle some of your blood on it I can ensure you and your family are under my protection in the curse.

Blue pulls out a knife

Rumplestiltskin: No! I have some blood.

Rumple reveals that he has a chain necklace with vials of blood, and he pulls one off before sprinkling it on the white elephant and throwing it in the cauldron.

Blue Fairy: Well we really must be getting going, see you in, wherever we end up.

Blue poofs away and Rumple begins to before the woman grabs his arm, stopping him.

Rumplestiltskin: Books! What was that for?

Books:I needed to tell you something, and I didn’t think I could trust Blue with it.

Rumplestiltskin: What is it then?

Books: I need you to make sure that I won’t wake up before the curse is broken.

Rumplestiltskin: Well why would I do that?

Books: Well I saw the rest of Jacob’s prophecy, and it’s not good.

Rumplestiltskin: Well what happens if you wake up?

Before Books can answer we cut to the next scene, R.R. is bringing Emma and Lily up through a hole in the ground into a dark and empty warehouse, though with a very low ceiling.

R.R.: Welcome to my Cabin in the Woods.

Emma: We’re in the woods?

R.R.:No, but Cabin in the Woods sounds better than Abandoned Building on an Abandoned Parcel of Land.

''R.R. flips a light switch and we can see that the room isn’t as empty as it seemed, there are large curtains covering the corners, and three sleeping bags sprawled across the middle. One has Aurora and some dude making out in it, another has Ashley who is playing with some mice, the final one is empty.'' R.R.: (Yelling) Hey everyone! We got some guests for the night! Everyone, meet, (dropping to a normal voice) wait what are your names?

Emma: I’m Emma Swan.

Lily: And I’m Lily Jones.

Ashley gets up as her mice crawl into her hair, she shakes hand with them.

Ashley: My name’s Ashley (in a little cutesy voice while she takes out some mice) and these are my little friends.

Lily: (Pointing towards Aurora) And who’s that?

Ashley: That’s Beau, she’s actually really great when she’s not sleeping with anyone.

Lily: So how did you make this place?

R.R.: There are so many girls on the street, I made this place to give them a place to stay, the upper floors of this place have actual children, some other people are watching them.

Lily: Them who are these people? They’re all adults, they look like they're in their 30s why are you caring for them?

Ashley: Everyone here but R.R. is 19, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Suddenly we realize that a background noise we’ve been hearing has stopped and see that Mary Margaret has walked out of the curtain.

Emma: Okay, thats a woman older than me.

Mary Margaret: You don’t look eighteen.

Emma: No? I’m 28, you look to be in your 30s on the other hand.

Mary Margaret: Oh come on! We are clearly three 19 year olds and a 25 year old.

R.R.: Well anyway, that curtain over there (points at the curtain opposite the one Mary Margaret walked out of) covers the guest bed.

Lily: Why do you need a curtain to cover a bed if you have people in sleeping bags in the open?

Mary Margaret: Well the bathroom needs a curtain an-

Lily: Yeah, I was wondering how you have running water in an abandoned warehouse.

R.R.: It had it when I discovered it, this lamppost was also lying around.

Emma: So this was clearly some psycho’s murder building then.

Ashley: Then my mice must have ancestors who saw it! Okay Gus, tell me what happened. (Gus squeaks at her) Okay, I got it, (she turns to everyone else) I’ll be looking in the old farmhouse, be back in an hour.

After she has left Emma looks at R.R.

Emma: So… she has some mental health problem, right?

Mary Margaret: The three of us ran away before we could figure out what.

Emma: Ah, that makes sense.

R.R.: I know this is a bad time, but it’s time to kick the boys out.

Beau: Come oooon! I’m not tired yet.

Mary Margaret: Yes you are. Go away dude.

''Beau’s boy toy gets up and leaves as Mary Margaret gets into her sleeping bag. Emma and Lily head to their curtain to see their bed.''

Emma: Wow, that’s a fancy bed.

Lily flops down on it.

Lily: It’s fit for a couple Queens.

Emma gets on and they settle into it.

Emma: Night.

Lily: Love you.

Lily gives her a kiss on the cheek and we fade to black, before being interrupted by Snow White screaming, we fade back in on the same bed, but in her palace and we see she’s giving birth.

Snow White: Aaaaah! I’m gonna kill him! Where is my husband!

Charming comes in

Prince Charming: Sorry I’m late, had to kill an ogre.

We cut to several hours later, and Snow and Charming are cradling their new baby girl, it’s sweet, until Blue shows up.

Blue Fairy: Victoria and Regina have cast the curse, we have to get your baby out of here.

Snow White: What? Why? How?

Blue Fairy: The Queen got a woman to crush the heart of her son, luckily we still have one useful potion, one that can send someone to another realm, but it needs to cover the person’s whole body, and we only have enough to cover a baby.

Snow White: But why would you need to send a baby to another realm?

Blue Fairy: It means we can have an easy to control newcomer to break the curse in 30 years time.

Prince Charming: 30 years?

Blue Fairy: That’s what the Oracle said, I would not prefer to be cursed for the next 30 years but we have no choice.

Suddenly Rumple appears

Rumplestiltskin: Sorry, I had to grab the potion.

Rumple throws a beaker to Blue, who catches it and is about to dump it on the baby

Snow White: Wait! We haven’t named her yet!

Rumplestiltskin: Well if you have a name for her say it soon and I can embroider it on a blanket.

Charming: Emma!

Snow White: (At the same time) Lily!

''Rumple makes a blanket, but we don’t see if anything is on it, wraps it around the baby, and Blue dumps the liquid on the child, who disappears. We cut to a forest and see Ashley and her mice are walking around.''

Ashley: So the person who lived in the Cabin is right over there?

The mice squeak in a positive sound.

Victoria: Who are you talking to?

Ashley jumps and turns around to see Victoria.

Ashley: Who? Me? Ahh, just, you know, talking to myself, crazy Ashley and all.

Victoria: Yes, I guess I do, well what is crazy Ashley doing right now?

Ashley: Just looking for a place to sleep, being homeless and all, I think I’ll head back that way, I saw somewhere nice.

Victoria: Well, I hope you have a good sleep then.

Ashley: Thank you Mrs. Gold.

We see Ashley run off, while Mrs. Gold’s face starts to look worried, we don’t get to see it for too long before cutting back to the cabin, where Mary Margaret, Beau, R.R. and Ashley are talking.

Beau: Okay, I’m sorry, Mrs. Gold, the women who owns the half of town that Granny doesn’t, was just walking around in the forest by the Cabin.

Ashley: That’s exactly what I’m saying!

Mary Margaret: And did you happen to ask her what she was doing?

Ashley: Of course not! I was terrified!

We see Emma and Lily walk out of their curtain

Mary Margaret: Oh hi! Good morning!

Lily: Yeah, thanks for the place to sleep but we have to get going, the Sheriff wants to meet us, hopefully to thank us for bringing her son home.

Emma: Or to shout a bunch of homophobic slurs slash shoot us for being gay.

Beau: That’s weird, she’s never seemed homophobic before.

Ashley: Yeah, she may have arrested a lot of gay friends for minor crimes but she’s done it to us four as much if not more.

Mary Margaret: Which of course makes her actually anti-straight so you should stop crying and go away.

Lily: Well okay then, if you get murdered I’ll make sure to not figure out who did it.

Beau: Okay then, byyyye!

R.R.: Remember the one rule, no one can know we live here.

Emma: Okay?

Emma and Lily leave as we cut to them entering the Sherif’s Station.

Regina: Why hello! I just have to deal with someone, I’ll get to you next.

''Regina walls into the office, with the blinds shut while Emma and Lily sit nearby. Suddenly we hear Happy from the cell.''

Happy: So what’d you do?

Lily: What’d you do?

Happy: Drank a bit too much at Happy Hour, now how about an actual answer.

Emma: I gave birth to the sheriff’s son.

Happy: Ouch, let me guess, Henry found and ran away to you and you had to return him.

Emma: Exactly correct.

Happy: Once he tried to run off to wherever the Princesses stay, Regina went and locked up every young women on the street she could find.

Lily: Surely there can’t be that many of them.

Happy: Yeah, because most of them are in Juvie or prison.

Emma and Lily stare at him like he’s crazy.

Happy: Wait, I realize you don’t know what I’m talking about. The Princesses are a group of young women, named Beau, Mary Margaret and Ashley, led by this woman named R.R. They live in this place that no one knows where it is, they it The Cabin. I’ve heard the remaining homeless young girls stay there but I can’t confirm it.

Lily and Emma look they’d do anything to get out of this conversation.

Emma: Well that’s interest-

Happy: Well Henry is very close to Mary Margaret, in fact if any male knows where the Cabin is it would be him.

As Happy drones on we see Regina exit her office while talking with Mrs. Gold.

Mrs. Gold: In a harsh whisper

I’m telling you, she’s looking for something.

Regina: (With the same tone) The woman doesn’t understand how the realm works, even if she finds it no one will believe her.

Regina turns to Emma and Lily who haven’t heard what she said.

Regina: Sorry about that, urgent business, well come on in.

Emma and Lily start walking to her office.

Regina: Oh I’m sorry, I just wanted to talk to, what’s your name?

Emma: Emma Swan.

Regina: Yes, I only want to talk to Ms. Swan, if that’s okay with you of course.

Emma: I guess.

As Emma and Regina walk into her office we see Lily sit back down, and then hear Happy.

Happy: Rejection, my sweet friend. Why I remember one time where…

''Before we have to hear anything else we cut back to the Enchanted Forest. The dwarves are guarding Snow’s castle when we see the Queen poof in.''

Grumpy: Attaaaack!

The dwarves try to mount a defense but the Queen easily dispatches them.

Evil Queen: This is why I don’t trust dwarves, I’ll have to make sure their fate will be special, they not only work for Snow but suck at it.

We return to Storybrooke, right where we left off in Regina’s office.

Regina: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY CHILD!

Emma: Your son came to me, I have had no contact with him since he was born.

Regina: Do you seriously expect me to believe that.

Emma: Yes! I brought him home immediately after he arrived at my place.

Regina: Then how do you explain that he’s been spouting nonsense about curses and how you and your girlfriend are the Saviors who will wake everyone up?

Emma: Your son has ran away from home at least twice, he clearly needs something he isn’t getting.

Regina: OUT! OUT OF MY OFFICE! OUT OF STORYBROOKE!

Emma: You can’t do that. You are the Sheriff, not a judge or the queen of Storybrooke.

Regina: Well you know what I can do? Kick you out of my office, so GET OUT!

Emma storms out as we return to Snow’s castle, with the Queen staring at Snow and Charming as they prepare to fight.

Prince Charming: You’re not going to take us out, you can’t.

Evil Queen: You think I want to do that? I’m here to set up how I want the curse to go. And it starts with knocking you unconscious.

The Queen engages in a sword fight with the two, the fight goes on for a bit with the Queen winning when she stabs Charming in the leg.

Prince Charming: Ah!

Snow White: David!

Prince Charming: Go! I’ll hold her off.

''As Charming continues to fight Snow retreats farther into the castle. While this happens we fade into Emma storming out of the sheriff department with Lily running after her.''

Emma: I can’t believe her! We are staying in this town.

Lily: What did she do?

Emma: She started accusing me of making her son start ranting about curses and us breaking them. We both know it started before we met him! Then I pointed out why he would do that.

Lily: What the hell did you say?

Lily pulls up in front of Emma, stopping her from continuing.

Emma: I told her that considering her son has ran away from home at least twice he needs something he isn’t being provided.

Lily: And what did she say to that?

Emma: She tried to kick me out of Storybrooke!

Lily: And so you’re staying in Storybrooke just to spite her?

Emma: I guess?

Lily: While normally I’d talk you out of doing something crazy like this, I kinda want to stay too.

Emma: Wait, what?

Lily:This town is full of mysteries, it’s the perfect place for a private detective to set up shop, much better than Boston.

Emma: So we’re on the same page?

Lily: I guess so.

Emma: Well then, time to move in together a bit sooner than expected.

Lily: We might have to stay in a warehouse that recquires a sewer to get to.

Emma: But we’ll be together.

''Lily laughs and kisses Emma on the cheek as they walk hand in hand. We them move back to Snow, who has managed to reach her bedroom where Red, Aurora and Cinderella are waiting, Red with a wooden staff reminiscent of the lamp pole in the present, the other two with swords.''

Snow White: She’s coming! Charming’s holding her off but we have to get ready.

Victoria poofs in behind her.

Victoria: I wouldn’t count on that.

The princesses get prepared to attack her.

Victoria: Hey! I’m not here to fight, I come baring gifts. (Three potions appear in her hands.) In these potions contain two layers of staying awake under the curse, and one punishment. One will keep your memories completely intact, one will keep your sensibilities intact, but the other will trap you in a coma, only one of you can drink any of these, so choose wisely.

''Victoria disappears after placing them down on a table. In barely any time Cinderella gulps down the middle drink, while the other two poof away.''

Cinderella: I couldn’t ask any of you to take the risk, I have nothing to lose from being in a coma, and I just might be able to figure out how to break the curse of I’m not in one.

As we fade from there we see that we are in Gold’s cell in what was Zelena’s cellar in that other show, and see Henry next to it while Mr. Gold is in it, on a cot and looking deathly sick.

Mr. Gold: And so they’re staying?

Henry: They’ve just officially moved in to the Cabin.

Mr. Gold: That’s (he coughes) great news, we might just be able to break this curse.

Henry: So how do we do this?

Mr. Gold: You need to bring Case 1 to the attention of Lily, she’s the one who needs to be convinced first, Emma will come if we get her.

Henry: But how can we do that?

Mr. Gold: Well that my boy, is up to you.

We fade back to where we were in the Enchanted Forest, though it’s a bit darker.

Snow White: I can’t believe she won.

Red Riding Hood: We just have to have hope.

Aurora: We’ll see each other in 30 years.

Cinderella: It will be like no time has passed.

Snow White: I guess.

Cinderella: Evil will never win for long.

Snow starts to chear up.

Snow White: Good will always prevail.

Red Riding Hood: That’s the spirit!

''While they are a bit happier we move out, to see the curse wash over Snow’s castle, as we fade to black. But we see the episode isn’t over when we return to see Mrs. Gold walking into the cellar, the farmhouse in the background. As she enters we see a cat snuggle up next to her leg.''

Mrs. Gold: Well hi Lucy!

''We follow her and Lucy farther in while we see several magical artifacts. She unlocks the cell door and walks in.''

Mrs. Gold: I know what you did.

Mr. Gold: Oh really, then tell me dearie.

Mrs. Gold: You’re using the boy to break the curse, you manipulated him to bring in these women.

Mr. Gold: That is something that’s going on, but do you know what you’ve done wrong.

Mrs. Gold: What?

Mr. Gold: You kept me alive, and as long as the One and I exist, we are a threat.

Suddenly we see the crocodile skin move across him, we zoom out to see that he is the old Rumplestiltskin, in flesh and blood and Robert Carlyle.

Rumplestiltskin: Hehehehe!

''We cut to black to see the end credits. Robert Carlyle is billed as special appearance by, and the dwarves besides Happy and Grumpy as well as the Jailer and Jacob are co-stars.''