Board Thread:Fanon: Season 8 & Beyond/@comment-32423680-20180709051349/@comment-25375217-20180902182831

The episode itself was pretty good. Milori being in love with Clarion kind of came out of nowhere and went nowhere, but all in all I enjoyed it.

That said, I do have a little bit of feedback overall -- your writing style is more conducive to a novel than a script. In a novel, we're often told what the character is thinking. (For example, you might see something to the effect of, "'Yes, I'm ready,' Hermione said, although truthfully she was not," in a novel.) However, on television and in movies, the viewers only know what is said out loud or shown. Your scripts have a lot of content that someone watching it as a real episode would not know. For example, the opening paragraph explains that "Avalon was a realm of the Fairy Tale Land hidden from the human eye, where fairies used to live." But this isn't ever said aloud; we only know that because we've read the script. Does that make sense?