Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-6905051-20131203105732/@comment-5106672-20140713031315

Utter solitude wrote: Sometimes the best thing for you is tough love.

I had a friend who was gay. His parents were very tightly strung conservative Christians. He was raised this way as well. When he finally got the courage to tell his parents, when he was 16, they sent him out of the country to a "pray the gay away" camp. Why? They loved their son and thought it was best for him. They'd been taught that being gay is wrong, and they wanted to "save" and "fix" their son. I don't know what happened to him there, but it messed him up for years afterward. He struggled with his faith and his sexuality. When he finally, at age 22, accepted himself and told his parents, they disowned him. They told him he'd fallen off his path, and they could not accept it. I believe they loved him very much, but that kind of extreme faith... it can warp a parent's thinking. They felt they'd done all they could, and their faith taught them that, in that situation, love meant they had to let him go.

I don't agree with it, but I can understand it. You spend your time as a parent trying to get your child to believe something, to be something. And when they're not, you do what you think you have to steer them back in the right direction. Sometimes it's.... crazy.

(I'm kinda back from the dead and found this in the notifications, so I'm resurrecting the topic with me).

Utter, I'm afraid what you're referring to is some kind of facility like this. Which, however you put it, isn't such a great parenting choice imo. I get your point about those parents believing sincerely they were doing good, but you try to get a bit of insight on whatever place you're shipping your kid to. I don't see them much different from Cora (to kinda stay in topic): they did what was best for themselves, not for him. They did not try to understand what he was feeling or going through, they just wanted to fix their own illusion of the perfect Christian family. As you say, I can't really blame them because they basically didn't know any better, but I think good parents should advise their children to do (what they think is) the right thing, not impose it. Give them the advice, then let them do their experience even if it is a mistake and be there to help them pick up the pieces if they need to. I admire what your mother did, because that was a really brave decision. She had to take a strong stand because that was a life-treatening situation for your sister, but from what I read what she did was exactly letting your sister realise herself she could no longer did that, rather than imposing it because mom knows best. I think you have a great mom. :)