Board Thread:Character Discussion/@comment-34563899-20180202235154/@comment-1916997-20180206141602

Lady Junky wrote:

CoolDudeAl wrote:

Lady Junky wrote:

CoolDudeAl wrote:

Lady Junky wrote:

CoolDudeAl wrote:

Lady Junky wrote:

CoolDudeAl wrote: Regarding this whole who's the victim and who's the abuser situation, I think that both Rumple and Milah abused each other in various ways. They are both very flawed characters for various reasons, and they both wound up abandoning Bae. So I don't think either one of them can be considered just a victim to the other, they were both victimized by each other. How so? How Rumple abused Milah? I'd like one real example of that, cos for now, everyone failed to give a real one.

Also, would be cool to stop the victim blaming there. Rumple never abused Milah, that was entirely up on her. Not because Rumple is a man, that Milah could not abuse him. Domestic abuse is a real thing to people from ALL genders.

It isn't the same time of abuse as she did (which was more direct), it was more of an indirect abuse. He was careless with decisions he made, including ones that would effect Milah. And, I know you say it doesn't count because it happened later, but ultimatly killing Milah for leaving him and Bae, would definitly fall under some sort of abuse. Again, I totally agree that Milah was also abusive to Rumple, but I don't think it is as one sided as one or other users are making it out to be.

Careless of what?
 * First decision: breaking his leg to come back home. He did that to come back with Milah, to be there for her and, most importantly, to be a father to Bae. He refused to do to Bae what Malcolm did to him: abandoning him. Rumple sacrificed his reputation and his social status, just to be sure that he would be there for Rumple. He did not do it to escape death, he did it cos the Seer told him he'd die and leave Bae alone. How can we blame a father who choose his son over himself?
 * Second decision: signing away his potential second child to Fendrake. Why he did it? To save Bae's life. Nothing else to add. What did you expect him to do? Let Bae die? Really?

So yeah. Still not seeing what was wrong with the choices he made. He did what was the best for Bae. Nothing is wrong with that.

The first one is trickier because he was far away on a battlefield and thought if he went into battle he would die. But the second one, he could have definitly figured out a different option than to decide he and Milah would not be able to have another child (without that child being taken away). Of course Milah could have a child with someone else, but you know full well that that child would be considered a bastard, and why would Milah do that when she was already worried about her family's social standing.

Suuuuuure... Victim blaming ^^

Bae was dying, nearly dead at that time per the dialogues, and the first option was Milah's.... To murder Fendrake. What a great option x) But, suuuuure, let's blame Rumple for not having find a better second option.

At least, he got one. And that saved Bae's life. You would think that Milah would be AT LEAST grateful for him doing that... But nah x) Rumple sacrificed a potential second child to save Bae's life. In his situation, that was the only choice he could make. And he was right to. It was that or Bae would be dead. Let's not forget that.

I'm not victim blaming, because like I said, I think they both did things wrong. Neither is purely a victim or purely an abuser. And yeah, sometimes crap happens and your child dies. It seems both Milah and Rumple were willing to sacrifice things (their morality, future children, etc.) that they shouldn't have been willing to do.

CDA, that's not because you said they both did wrong things that you're not victim blaming Rumple. Saying that he should have found another solution in his situation, while his son was about to die & his wife asked him to murder the guy... That's totally victim blaming.

"And yeah, sometimes crap happens and your child dies." So you're really admitting it? You really think that Rumple should have let his son dies? Like really?

I understand why Milah and Rumple were both willing to do extreme things to save Bae, because he is their child, and they don't want him to die. I'm just pointing out that they compromised many things in trying to save him. I'm sure many parents would do things like that, even in real life. Like if someone's kid was dying, and they were told if they kill some random adult, their child won't die, I bet many people would do it. It doesn't mean that they didn't sacrifice their morality and ethics in the process though.