Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-26159109-20161114201452/@comment-1916997-20161129023923

GothicNarcissus wrote: No, you didn't, which is my point: saying the way a freer sexuality is portrayed on OUAT mirrors the real world isn't accurate at all. As I pointed out way above, it's not limited to sex and attraction used as leverage. Take Cruella: she played Isaac on a purely romantic level, while her "spicier" escapades have nothing to do with manipulation. She just likes having a good time. Like Lacey did. Like Jack and James did, and on we go.

The thing is, the show's view boils down to the villains being generally more sexually active than the heroes, whose sexuality is mostly strictly confined to committed relationships. Out of the few examples of the contrary, such as Mary Margaret's one night stand with Whale in S1, is made a big deal about how the characters end up regretting it. Not everyone is married, true, but they're still committed and emotionally invested – see Emma and Neal. Even David's extramarital affair with Mary Margaret was framed as different than downright adultery, because we all know they're destined to be together anyway and they're the "real" couple with Kathryn being the true "other woman". And take reformed villains, too: evil Regina flirting with anything that's male and moves vs reformed Regina having qualms about sleeping with a married man. Or the Red Queen's attitude before and after her hee-face turn. In short, in OUAT sheer sex is something only villains do, while heroes go after romance and love which incidentally includes sex.

This is to say, I don't think the writers really think that love is for good people and casual sex for bad people. But they do surely use this shortcut a lot to convey a character's morality, which in my opinion is a little bit outdated. I think that standard in society is very much still alive though (whether or not it should be is a different point entirely, which I am not going to go into). Even in modern day 21st century society, a committed relationship between two people (and most lkely marriage) is seen as the most prefered relationship. Sleeping around is seen as a weakness in that the person is unable to commit to someone or is unable to hold deeper relationships with people besides sex. Polyamorus couples or people in open relationships are similarly seen as lacking in character. And remember we are primarily dealing in fairy tales here. So yes, love (and marriage) is going to be portrayed as better than just sex. And you seem very sex positive, so I get you personally may not see these things as bad, but the larger society still does, and a writer has to play to the majority.