Down the Rabbit Hole/Transcript

"Once Upon a Time..."

''SCENE: London, England. Past. In what seems to be a garden where a table set with toys has been overgrown with weeds. Suddenly a blast from the ground occurs. Out climbs a young Alice in a little blue dress appears from the hole.''

Alice: Home. (Alice begins to run back to her house.) Father! Father! Father! (Alice finally arrives at her house). Father! (She reaches her front door and tries the doorknob but it's locked. So she knocks vigorously.) Father! Father, it's me. Come on, father. (The door suddenly opens. A man appears.) You're never going to believe where I've been.

Alice's Father: Alice?

Alice: It all began with this white rabbit. And he wanted to take my hat and then I--

Alice's Father: Alice...Is that really you?

Alice: Who else would I be?

Alice's Father: You were gone...a very long time. We thought you were...

Alice: You thought I was, what?

Alice's Father: Dead.

''SCENE: London, England. Past. Alice's House. Alice's father and a doctor discusses Alice's statements behind a closed door. Alice peeks through the keyhole to see what they are discussing.''

Dr. Lydgate: ...hookah smoking caterpillars, giant mushrooms.

Alice's Father: What do you think I am? A fool. Why would she lie?

Dr. Lydgate: Your child, she's delusional. She's delusional.

Alice's Father: She's making it up?

Dr. Lydgate: I can cure her of this. Alice's Father: She isn't a liar.

Dr. Lydgate: She is a liar.

Alice: (To herself.) I'm not a liar. It was real. And I'm going to prove it.

''SCENE: Storybrooke. Present. Night. A mysterious man walks casually down the main street of the town during a storm. A yellow VW Beetle beeps but swerves overtaking the resolute man. He walks up to Ashley Boyd and Leroy who are locking up Granny's Diner.''

Ashley: Looks like you closed down the joint again, Leroy. You're really gunning for that customer of the week plaque.

Leroy: It's win-win, Ashley. You get my mug on the wall-- (The man walks past the two bumping into Ashley to get to the diner.) Whoa. Sorry, brother. Closing time.

Ashley: Yeah, looks like a storm's coming. You better find a place to keep dry. (Ashley and Leroy walk away.)

Man: I'll get right on that. (The man swings the diner's key in his hand. He unlocks the diner and pours himself some coffee. He leaves money on the counter but changes his mind and takes it back. Suddenly, the diner begins to shake. Then there's a blast from the center of the diner. The smoke clears and there is a white rabbit in a hat and suit.)

The White Rabbit: There you are.

Man: Bloody hell! What are you doing here?

White Rabbit: I'll tell you on the way. We're late.

Man: I'm not interested in your important dates, Rabbit. Or your unimportant dates, for that matter.

White Rabbit: No, no, no, no. We're not late for something. We're late for someone.

Man: Who?

White Rabbit: Alice. She needs help. You're the Knave of Hearts. She needs you.

''SCENE: London, England. Present. Bethlem Asylum. Alice, lead by two attendants, walks down a long hall with patients. Transitions to a room where there are doctors interrogating the young woman.''

Dr. Lydgate: Answer the question, please. (The girl doesn't respond.) Alice! Alice...

Alice: I don't remember.

Dr. Lydgate: Oh, I think you do. It's been a year now and you have been quite clear in your statements. An invisible cat, a hookah smoking caterpillar, food and drink capable of altering your physical form. A murderous Red Queen. And you encountered all these things by literally falling down a rabbit hole. Hearing it out loud, it all sounds quite preposterous, wouldn't you agree, Alice...

Alice: Yes.

Dr. Lydgate: Good. Just a few more questions and maybe this time we can send you home. Now when your father finally brought you to us, he was at his wits end. It wasn't just your multiple disappearances that had taken a toll, it was your ludicrous explanation. That you had been searching for proof of this place. This, Wonderland. Where you had miraculous, strange and terrifying adventures. Do you still believe that to be true?

''SCENE: Wonderland. Past. Alice hides under a mushroom as a caterpillar smokes above her. She pulls off a bit of mushroom and then runs off.''

Caterpillar: Hey, that's mine! Give it back.

Soldier: Halt! She's heading into the maze! By order of the Queen, stop! Don't let her get away!(As Alice heads into the maze she stops to take a bit of the mushroom and places the rest in her bag. As she continues to run she shrinks.) Where's the girl? Has anyone seen her? I thought she went this way. (Alice is tossed to the side when the soldiers run past her.)

''SCENE: London, England. Present. Bethlem Asylum. The doctors continue asking Alice questions.''

Dr. Lydgate: Alice? Alice. Alice!

Alice: No. It wasn't true. I never left England.

Dr. Lydgate: So you just made it all up. Why? For attention? Well, you certainly got it, didn't you? The question we have to answer today is, which is the real performance? A little girl with tales of tea parties and barbaric queens. Or the young lady who says it was just her imagination.

Alice: That little girl was a fool.

Dr. Lydgate: And the lady?

Alice: She knows what really happened.

''SCENE: Wonderland. Past. Alice picks herself up from the ground and decides to hide in a bottle that lays by the side of the path.''

Man in the Bottle: What are you doing in my bottle?! (A lantern is turned on to reveal a man.)

Alice: Turn me in and I get big! (Alice takes a red liquid in a bottle from her satchel.) Right here, right now I'll burst your house into a million shiny pieces.

Man in the Bottle: We wouldn't want that now, would we? A good bottle is so hard to find these days. My name is Cyrus. My home is your home.

''SCENE: London, England. Present. Bethlem Asylum. The doctors continue asking Alice questions.''

Dr. Lydgate: When you finally resurfaced, you claimed to be in this Wonderland. Can you tell us where you really were?

Alice: With a friend.

Dr. Lydgate: Where?

''SCENE: Wonderland. Past. Cyrus' Bottle.''

Alice: Agrabah sounds beautiful.

Cyrus: I hope one day to see it again. What place do you call home?

Alice: England. Although it hasn't exactly felt like home, lately.

Cyrus: So we're both strangers in this most strange land.

Alice: Strange is one word for it.

Cyrus: Wonderous.

Alice: Dangerous.

Cyrus: I sense that you can take care of yourself. (Alice giggles.) And you have to go back to your land soon?

Alice: Well, I do have what I came for.

Cyrus: Which is what?

Alice: Proof that all of this is real. (Alice pulls out the White Rabbit out of her bag.)

White Rabbit: Proof? You want proof. Come here and I'll give you proof.

Cyrus: A talking white rabbit with a jacket and trousers.

Alice: No one can say I imagined that.

Cyrus: Yes, that much is said. So tell me Alice, who is this proof for? You've risked much to come back here. Is it...a husband?

Alice: No. It's no one like that.

Cyrus: Good.

Alice: Good?

Cyrus: I-I just mean that you're not separated from your love. That would be a terrible fate.

Alice: Yes, that would. The proof is for my father. He thinks I'm insane.

Cyrus: Really? So you're risking your life for someone who doesn't believe in you. You know, when you really love someone you don't need proof. You can feel it.

Alice: Maybe where you're from. But in my land I'd wish things would...

Cyrus: You'd wish things would what? You found my bottle, Alice. Anything is possible. ''Mistress mine. My will is thine. Tell me your wishes three.''

''SCENE: London, England. Present. Bethlem Asylum. The doctors continue asking Alice questions.''

Dr. Lydgate: Alice, if you wish to be released from this facility you need to--

Alice: I don't wish for anything!

Dr. Lydgate: Does this have to do something with the genie you believed you met? You told your father that you set him free. That the two of you traveled from world to world. Fighting pirates, swimming with mermaids. And then, men and women being what they are, you fell in love. Are you ready to admit that was a lie as well?

''SCENE: Wonderland. Past. Alice and Cyrus are standing on top of a cliff looking over the Boiling Sea.''

Alice: Curiouser, Curiouser. I've heard of the Boiling Sea but in person, it's even more amazing.

Cyrus: As are you. (Alice almost falls but Cyrus catches her.) Be careful. I never met a human quite like you, Alice.

Alice: I never met a genie quite like you. Well, actually I've never met a genie.

Cyrus: Okay. (Alice is confused.) Oh, forgive me, I’m not used to– I was always the one granting the wishes not making them.

Alice: Making them? What?

Cyrus: For one hundred years I was tethered to a bottle. A slave to the faulty dreams of man and all that time I only had one wish: To never be a prisoner ever again. But now, I have another. Oh, wait I think the people in your world do this down on one knee-–

Alice: Yes!

Cyrus: What?

Alice: Yes, yes! I will.

Cyrus: Oh, but I had a whole speech. It was charming and eloquent and it had– (Alice pulls Cyrus up from the ground and they kiss. Then Cyrus’ talisman begins to glow.)

Cyrus: Our hearts are entwined. From now on I will know when you are near. And you will know. (They hear marching in the distance.) Alice, run!

''SCENE: London, England. Present. Bethlem Asylum. The interview continues.''

Dr. Lydgate: When your father found you, you were inconsolable. You said the love of your life was gone. Murdered by some-

Alice: No. It's not what I said.

Dr. Lydgate: Alice, you were an ignored little girl who wanted to be loved so you created a fantasy land full of characters who would help you become who you wanted to be. Tall, brave, beautiful. You wouldn't be the first child to do this. You're just the first to grow up and still believe it was real.

Alice: No... I don't believe it anymore.

Dr. Lydgate: We know you're lying. You still cry out for him in your sleep.

Alice: What?

Dr. Lydgate: In your sleep. Every night, it's the same. You cry out for Cyrus.

''SCENE: Wonderland. Past. Boiling Sea. Soldiers enter. Alice and Cyrus take out their weapons ready to fight. Behind the soldiers is the Red Queen.''

Red Queen: Sorry to interrupt. (Cyrus and Alice battle the soldiers but there's too many of them and they are overcome. The soldiers drag Cyrus away.) Mind if I borrow him?

Alice: Cyrus! No, Cyrus!

Cyrus: Alice! (Cyrus breaks free and fights off the soldiers hold down Alice. Then the Queen with a wave of her hand magically pushes Cyrus over the cliff-edge.)

Red Queen: Oops.

Alice: Cyrus! (Alice crawls over just to see Cyrus disappear into the Boiling Sea.) Cyrus.

''SCENE: London, England. Present. Bethlem Asylum. The interview continues.''

Dr. Lydgate: Alice. We have a new procedure that can take away your pain. Make you forget whatever, or whomever you're holding onto. One treatment and it all just slips away.

Alice: Does it hurt?

Dr. Lydgate: A little. But far less than the pain you're in right now (Dr. Lydgate passes Alice a pen and a clipboard.) Just sign here. (Alice signs.) Good girl. Now go get some sleep. Tomorrow you life begins anew.

''SCENE: London, England. Present. Bethlem Asylum. Alice is lying on her bed in a padded room calling out for Cyrus as she sleeps. It then transitions to the procedure room with a table full of conspicuous instrument. Dr. Lydgate picks up a drill and slowing it spins it.)'' Dr. Lydgate: It's time. Fetch the girl.

''SCENE: London, England. Present. Alice's Room. Alice awakens and sits up believing she heard something. Silence. Alice lies back down. Suddenly, the door lock rattles.''

Alice: Would you at least give me time to get dressed. (Alice is surprised to see who it is. It's the Knave of Hearts.) You!

Knave: "You?!" That's what I get. "You?" Well, nice to see you too, Alice.

Alice: What are you doing here?

Knave: Right, come now. We have to go

Alice: Go? No, you're not real.

Knave: Oh, I'm very real. And we must leave now. I've cleared some of the guards so we should be able to get out.

Alice: No, I can't. I can't.

Knave: Alice, you need to listen to me.

Alice: No, I'm not going anywhere.

Knave: Why must you always be so bloody stubborn?

Guard: There he is. (Guards grab the Knave. One goes for Alice.)

Alice: Hey, I didn't do anything.

Knave: It's true. I mean if she'd be a least bit helpful, we'd be gone by now. Ow! (The guards restrain him.)

Alice: Get him out of here.

Knave: Alice, no! You know me. Remember.

Alice: I don't want to remember. I want to forget.

Knave: Alice, listen to me.

Alice: No!

Knave: He's alive! The Rabbit saw him. Cyrus! He's alive.

Alice: That's impossible.

Knave: You know as well as I do, Alice. Nothing is impossible in Wonderland. (One of the guards punches Knave in the stomach. The other helps out but Alice attacks him and fends off all the guards, while Knave watches.)

Alice: Was that you're idea of a rescue?

Knave: It was suppose to be more of a message-delivery type situation. I wasn't planning to- (Alice runs ahead.) Right, let's go then.

White Rabbit: You're late. What a surprise.

Alice: To you, everybody's late.

White Rabbit: True. I do have high standards. Nice world you got here. What the hell is this stuff? It's pretty hard on the paws. (Some guards run pass a hallway followed by Dr. Lydgate who spots Alice.)

Dr. Lydgate:Alice! Stop. Don't do this. I can help you to get better. (The White Rabbit walks out from behind the wall.)

White Rabbit: Are we really going to stand here and listen to this guy? (The doctor just stands in shock.)

Alice: Seeing things, doctor? I hear there's a procedure for that. (The trio run out of the asylum into the city.)

Alice: What do we do now?

Knave: We run. (They run through the city pushing people and things out of the way as police officers chase them down.)

White Rabbit: Look out. Out of the way!

Police Officer: Out of my way. (They run into an alleyway but it's a dead end.)

White Rabbit: Oh, no.

Knave: We'll be finished, for sure.

Alice: No, we won't.

Knave: They're coming. Alice: Rabbit?!

White Rabbit: Here? Couldn't we find somewhere with softer ground, like a field?

Alice & Knave: Dig!

White Rabbit: Alright. (The Rabbit makes a rabbit hole on the wall) Here goes. (He jumps in.)

Alice: (To Knave.) What are you waiting for?

Knave: Alice, I didn't exactly leave that place on good terms.

Alice: Neither did I but if Cyrus is--

Knave: Then you have to go, not me! (Alice marches up to the Knave.)

Alice: Listen, Knave. Once, long ago, I got you back your heart. Now, you need to help me get back mine. (The police officers draw closer.) Or you could take your chances with them.

Knave: Bloody hell. Alright, then. Next stop, Wonderland! (Holding hands, Alice and the Knave jump into the portal.)

''SCENE: Wonderland. Present. Mellow Marsh. The White Rabbit lands upon the dock while Alice and the Knave land on the soft marsh bouncing until they find their balance.''

White Rabbit: Hm, humans.

Knave: I hate...this bloody...place!

Alice: Careful, Knave. We've landed in the Mellow Marsh. Knave: Of course, we did. Because a pond made out dessert topping makes perfect sense.

White Rabbit: Come on! Shake a leg. Shake two legs. (Rabbit laughs. Alice and Knave walk towards the dock.) Ugh, what a mess. Alice: Okay, Rabbit. Where's Cyrus? Tell us where you saw him. White Rabbit: Well, I didn't exactly see him. (To Knave.) Did you tell her I saw him?

Knave: That is what you said.

White Rabbit: Well, it was a figure of speech.

Knave: Nope! I'm pretty sure it wasn't.

White Rabbit: What I meant was I was having tea with the Dormouse and he said that he saw him.

Knave: So we came all the way here on the word of a narcoleptic rodent.

Alice: Ignore him, Rabbit. Go on.

White Rabbit: He said Cyrus was at the Mad Hatter's old place. It's abandoned. The Hatter, he hasn't been in Wonderland for quite some time.

Knave: And he ain't never coming back! He's found himself a nice little life back in a place where I was making mine. A place I might add, where the dragonflies aren't actually dragons! Rabbit, are you getting taller?

White Rabbit: Quite possibly. That kind of thing happens quite a lot around here.

Knave: We're sinking. (Knave tries to loosen himself from the marsh.) I can't move me feet. Alice: Rabbit, where is it? Where's the Hatter's house?

White Rabbit: Where else? The Tulgey Woods.

Alice: Knave, we need to get out of here.

Knave: (Sarcastically.) Really?

White Rabbit: Ah, everything's gonna be fine. I'll just, ah, ah, ah. I'll go get help. Don't worry! Everything's gonna work out just fine.

Alice: Stop moving! We'll just sink faster.

Knave: Oh, because a slow death is so much more pleasant. This is humiliating. I'm gonna die like a bloody s'more.

Alice: A what?

Knave: It's biscuits, some chocolate and you get toasted marshmellow -- nevermind. The point is we're gonna die. Alice: Knave, that's brillant! (Alice grabs one of the dragonflies and squeezes it to get to breathe fire out.)

Knave: What the bloodly hell are you doing?

Alice: I'm making a sore.

Knave: S'mores!

Alice: Whatever.

Knave: I'm starting to think you were in the nutter for a reason. Alice: See. (Alice lets the dragonfly go. The marsh has became solid enough to walk upon.) Come on. ''(Alice grabs the Knave's hand and they pull each other out. Moments later they're on the dock clean themselves up.)

Knave: Where's that Rabbit? (Knave whacks his jacket on the side of the deck to get the marshmellow off.) It's getting late and I'm planning on sleeping in me own bed tonight.

Alice: You can't leave. We haven't found Cyrus--

Knave: Cyrus. Exactly. You heard what the Rabbit said, he never even saw him. If I'd known that I wouldn't of done any of this. I mean, for all we know he isn't even alive.

Alice: What if he is?

Knave: Alice. I left Wonderland because I did a lot of bad things here. A lot of people want to see me dead. They have their reasons. And to be honest, they're good reasons. I left this place ??? And you want me to risk all that for a hunch. (Knave walks away.)

Alice: I can pay you. (Knave returns.)

Knave: How? You don't have anything to pay me, Alice. Alice: That's not entirely true. I have something better than money. (Alice twists the heel of her shoe to reveal a hidden compartment. She takes something out.) Wishes. (Alice holds in her hand three tiny diamonds.)

Knave: I don't get it. Why don't you use them to bring Cyrus back?

Alice: Wishes can be...unpredictable. If I use one to bring Cyrus back, he might arrive...hanging from a tree with a noose around his neck. See, with wishes sometimes there's literally a string attached.

Knave: Then one just has to be careful for what they wish for. Make it consequence proof. Yeah, I can do that.

Alice: So does that mean you'll stay?

Knave: We find Cyrus, I get a wish. Anything I want.

Alice: Just get me to Tulgey Woods. (Alice returns the wishes into her shoe's heel.)

Knave: You're ready to believe the Rabbit, then?

Alice: I know you have your doubts but yes. I believe the Rabbit.